He Said She Said: Overtime

"They want overtime!" She said, standing naked in the dining room, clearly annoyed.
"What?" He said. "What are you talking about?"
"They want overtime. The logging company."
"What?"
"They say the scope was way more than they expected."
"Honey! What are you talking about???"
"Overtime. The logging company I sent in to trim the forest."
"What forest?"
"THE forest."
"Honey, I really--"
She pointed at her groin.
"More trimming than they expected."
"Honey," he said, "please stop being so weird."


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He Said She Said - Fly

They were walking the dogs. Suddenly he stopped, coughing and gagging.

"What?" she asked, concerned. "What's wrong?"

"I--" Hack! Hack! "I swallowed something. I--" Hack! Hack! "I don't know what--" Hack! "... It was."

He kept coughing, bending over.

"Close your mouth and try to make some spit, then swallow," she said.

After a moment, he stood up, calming.

"I think it was a fly," he said.

"Gross!" she shrieked.

"Not a big one. One of those little midgey ones."

"Are you OK now?" she asked, rubbing his back.

"Yes," he said, starting to walk again, much to the relief of two very impatient dogs.

"Well," she said, taking his hand, "now we just need to find a spider."

"Wha--?" He paused. "Oh, VERY FUNNY!"

He Said She Said - Earworm

He was checking Facebook.

"Bonnie Tyler is doing Eurovision for the UK!" he said.

"Yes I saw that last night," she replied. "And thank you very much, by the way, now I have that damn song in my head."

"What song? 'I Need a Hero'?"

"No, that one would actually be better."

"Haha! Listen to this comment: 'Bonnie Tyler does UK Eurovision. Total eclipse of the career?'"

"Aaaaargh! That's the song! Now it's in my head! It's my second worst song of all time!"

"I can help you with that," he said, and began singing the Chicken Song.

"Oh thank you VERY much," she said. "That REALLY helps!"

"Did it work?"

There was a pause.

"Yes," she sighed.

He threw his head back and laughed.

He Said She Said - Game on

"I'm home!" she said.

"Hi," he said.

"Oh, God.  Are you playing your Stupid Game again?"

"I tidied the kitchen, I put some laundry on, I get to play my game!"

"How can you sit there for hours and just clickety-click?"

"Go away."

"What are you doing?"

"I'm shooting a dragon."

"Why?"

"It's attacking me!"

"No, it's not.  I can see it.  It's just flying.  Look how pretty it is."

"It just frosted me!  Before you got home!  Luckily I'm immune to frost."

"Well of course you're immune to frost.  You're English!  Dragons don't frost.  That's stupid.  And you shouldn't be shooting at it."

"It's going to attack me again!"

"Leave it alone!  It's an endangered species!"

"Shut up.  Where's my horse?"

"You have a horse?"

"Yes.  Where did I leave it?  Oh, there it is!"

"You left it out in the snow, all alone?"

"It waits for me!"

"You didn't even tie it up!"

"I don't have to.  It waits for me."

"You can't even give it a measley carrot?"

"Shut up."

"Where are you going?"

"I'm trying to get down to that temple down there."

"Don't go that way!  You'll kill the hor--- AAAAAARGH!"

"STOP IT!"

"You killed the horse!"

"What about me?  I died too."

"I don't care about you!  You killed the horse!"

"Look.  I'm alive again.   And the horse is fine."

"Animal cruelty!"

"Shut up."

"Don't go that way!  It's too steep!"

"I'm trying to find a way to get to the temple!"

"Well why don't you bloody look where you're going?"

"I CAN'T!  It's a game!"

"The horse is slipping through the ice!  WATCH OUT!"

"Oh, shit."

"YOU KILLED IT AGAIN!"

"Honey, you're doing this on purpose."

"Doing what?"

"Do you want to watch something, Honey?"

"Actually, I do have an episode of Project Runway All Stars to watch..."

"I hate you."

"No, you don't.  But you clearly have it in for that poor horse.  What's his name, anyway?"

"HE DOESN'T HAVE A NAME!  IT'S.  A.  GAME!"

"How can you not name your horse?"

"That's it!  I'm turning off the Xbox!  Here!  Take the remote!  I'm going!"

"Honey?"

"WHAT?"

"Seeing as you're up, can I have a cup of tea?"

To read more in this series, click here.

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He Said She Said - Poinsettia

They were in the hardware store. It was a quick stop, to get light bulbs.

"Ooh!" she said. "Look! Christmas crap!"
"Honey, it's November. We don't need this stuff yet."
"Aw, come on! Don't you want the 6 foot blow up Santa and Rudolph on the beach?"
"Honey, the light bulbs are back there, just keep walking..."
"No. You go get the light bulbs. I just want to look at a few things."
"Honey! We have tons of Christmas stuff in the attic! We don't need anything! Weren't you telling me we need to declutter?"
"Nice try. I tell you what. The sooner you go get the light bulbs, the sooner you come back, the sooner we have to leave and I have to stop shopping."
"As if you'll leave when I'm done!"
"Honey, seriously. I'm just looking. It's OK. You can go."
"OK, see you back here in five minutes."
"OK."
"FIVE minutes!"
"Oh-kaaaaaay!"

When they met again, she was carrying two rolls of wrapping paper and a poinsettia. They fell into step beside each other, heading towards the cash registers.

"I see you've bought something to kill," he said.
"Oh VERY funny!" she snapped back. "I KNEW you were going to say that! I was going to count the seconds till you did."
"Honey, if we're going to play Dead Pool, we should do it for the plant."

To read more in this series, click here.

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He Said She Said - No and No

"So did you finish watching the Sandwich King's first show?"

"Yeah. He was pretty good."

"Did you like that thing with dipping the sandwich in the jus?"

"No."

"Hey, that reminds me. We need to take garlic bread to the dinner on Saturday."

"Do you want to make it or buy it?"

"I don't know. We could... Wait."

"What?"

"Did you say no because you really think no, or because you think I *want* you to think no?"

"Eh?"

"The sandwich. Dipping in the jus.  'No' no or just I-don't-want-you-to-know-I-like-and-eat-bad-food 'No'?"

"It's a 'No' no."

"Oh, OK."

"Honey?"

"Yes?"

"You really are a little bit silly sometimes."

"Make."

"Eh?"

"Bread. Make."

"K."

To read more in this series, click here.

He Said She Said - Dreaming

 

"Good morning," he yawned, stretching.
"Hi Honey," she said. "How are you?"
"Still waking up," he mumbled.
"Did you sleep OK?"
"Hmmmm... I had weird dreams..."
"What about?"
"We were renovating this big house. Really big. And I was working for a newspaper and my office was in the attic."
"Sounds like it was all about creative projects. Did you recognize the house?"
"Um... No... I don't think so..."
"Was it the one two blocks down with the massive wraparound porch?"
"No."
"Was it the gray one that needs a lot of work but has a massive yard?"
"No."
"Was it the brick one on the way to the gym with the deck?"
"I don't think it was any house we know."
"Honey!" she chided, jerking him fully awake.
"What us the point of dreaming about any house that isn't one of the ones I want?"
"Very funny," he said, turning and walking to the kitchen. "I need coffee now."

To read more in this series, click here.

He Said She Said - Spiderman

"Aaaaargh!" she shrieked.
"What? WHAT?" he panicked, braking and looking around frantically.
"SPIDER! ON! LEG!"
"Whew!" he sighed, accelerating again. "Don't DO that when I'm driving!"
"Get on there..." she mumbled, teeth gritted, at the spider while she tried to steer it onto her work folder.
"Yes... Come on... OK... Now open the window... NO! Don't crawl back at me! Out! Out! OUT!". She flapped at the folder, takes it back into the window and started winding the window up.
"NO!"
"What? What now?"
"It's back in! It's in my sleeve!" she yelled, squirming frantically to pull her coat off.
"Oh, come on!" he spat, exasperated, slowing down again. "Do you want me to pull over?"
"No, I-- Wait. It's on my leg! Thank God!"
She reached for her folder and started the arachnid herding again. She balanced the folder and hit the window button. But, this time, she swept her hand back and forth on the leather and banged the folder hard on the door frame.
As she wound the window up again, they both breathed a sigh of relief.
"Little bugger!" she hissed. "In that second that he was out of the window, he stuck a silk thingy down and he held on while the wind buffeted him and then he swung himself back into the car!"
"Of course it did! Haven't you seen the Spiderman movie?"

To read more in this series, click here.

He Said She Said - Playing the Percentages

"Honey," he said, coming into the kitchen and catching her muttering under her breath, "what's wrong?"

"I HATE HOUSEWORK!" she yelled.

"Uh, what have you been doing?"

"You don't want me to answer that," she said, in a low, threatening tone.  "You don't want me to tell you all the stuff I've done while you've been sitting on your arse at your PC."

"Um..." he faltered, taking a step back, trying to regroup, as he was completely unprepared for this attack.  "Would you like me to make you some tea?"

"No!"she snapped.  "I can't have tea, because if I sit down, I won't want to do housework again and the stuff in the dryer won't get brought upstairs and the wet washing won't get hung and the dry washing won't get moved off the rack to make room for the wet washing and the dishwasher won't get unpacked!

"And, anyway," she continued, "I can't have tea made in a dirty kitchen!"

"Honey--" he said, then caught himself and clearly decided not to voice his initial reaction.  Instead, he put his hands on her shoulders, saying: "I'll do the dishwasher, OK?"  

"Oh, no you don't!" she countered.  "When you say you'll do a piece of housework, it doesn't mean you'll actually do it.  What it means is that there's a 1% chance you'll do it now, a 9% chance you'll do it in the next 2 hours, a 20% chance you'll do it today, a 30% chance it'll be done this week and a 40% chance you'll forget to do it altogether!"

"OK," he said, getting irritated.  "That's not fair.  I do housework."

"Yes, Honey, you do.  It's just your timing that sucks.  You do housework in one of two cases - things are so bad that they stop you from getting something done, or you happen to decide you want to do it.  Neither of those times is actually achieving a regular maintenance clean."

"OK, OK, whatever," he said, giving up a battle he couldn't win.  "I'll get the stuff out of the dryer, and empty the dishwasher.  You get the dry stuff off the racks and hang up the wet stuff.  Then we'll both have a cup of tea and a biscuit, OK?"

"OK," she sighed.

"I just have to finish one email first," he said, ducking as she lashed out to punch him in the arm.  "I'M JOKING!  I'M JOKING!" he yelled, as he ran to the basement.

To read more in the He Said She Said series, click the tag below or the Category link on the left.

You might like: He Said She Said - Pill Popping

He Said She Said - Pillow Talk

  

"I'm so tired," he said, getting into bed.

"Me too," she said, "and my feet are cold."

"AAAARGH!" he yelled.

"What?  You're supposed to warm my feet.  It's a husband's duty."

"Not when your feet are ICE BLOCKS!"

"Aw, Honey, come on..."

"No!" he said, wrapping himself up in the covers, creating a comforter wall between them.

"You know what?" she said, poking him.  "This is why the bed is in such a mess in the morning and the fitted sheet has come loose!  When you are away on business and I wake up in the morning, the bed is perfect.  There's just the triangle where I've folded back the stuff to get out of bed.  I swear, next time you travel I'm going to send you a picture to prove it to you."

"Actually when I was at that conference two years ago and R--- and B--- and I were sharing a room, they shared a bed and left me alone.  B--- said I'm the messiest sleeper he's ever seen."

"Ah-HAH!  So now the truth comes out.  Why didn't you tell me this before?"

"It - uh - slipped my mind."

"HAH!  Did B--- also say you snore?"

"Oh, hang on a second!  Last night you and Puppy Dog and Puppy Girl were giving me a snore-symphony!"

"Uh, no, if there's anyone who takes part in the snorephony, it's you.  And by the way, when you fall asleep and dream, you twitch, just like the dogs do."

"I do?"

"Yep," she giggled. "I can hear their nails scritching on their beds, and you rock our mattress in tandem.  I know they're dreaming about chasing balls, but what are you dreaming about?"

"Chasing boobies!"

"Wow.  I'm so shocked I don't think I can sleep now," she said, yawning.

"Good night, darling," he said, kissing her.

"Night night," she sighed.

To read more in the He Said She Said series, click the Tag below or the category link on the left.

He Said She Said - Colonoscopy

 

They were watching Men of a Certain Age.  The 3 male leads were heading to Palm Springs to go to a recommended doctor to have colonoscopies.

They were discussing who was going to have anaesthetic and who wasn't.

"Wait a minute," she said.  "You can have anaesthetic for a colonoscopy?"

"Of course," he said.

"That's ridiculous!" she snapped.  "I don't get anaesthetic when I get a speculum shoved right up my woowah!  They don't even warm the fucking thing up!"

"But you need anaesthetic!" he said.

"No you don't!  They just said on the TV that the doctor told them it's optional!"

"Honey," he sighed, "it's not like it just goes a little way up."

"Neither does a speculum!  You saw that dildo-camera they put up me when I had to have an ultrasound!  That thing was huge!  It was brave-gay-man size!  You think that only went up a few inches?"

"Honey.  Honey.  When you have a colonoscopy the thingy goes up your boomboom ALL THE WAY TO YOUR NOSTRILS!"

"Stop trying to win this by making me laugh," she giggled.

"When I turn 50 and have a colonoscopy, I'm having anaesthetic," he said.

"And the next time I go for a pap smear I am going to ask for anaesthetic and watch my ObGyn roll on the floor with laughter."

For more in the He Said She Said series, click the Tag below or the category link on the left.

He Said She Said - Ruining Christmas Carols

 

It was New Year's Day.  They had spent the night before in their PJ's, on the couch, watching DVDs and eating pizza and ice cream.  

It was 11:30 when she brushed her teeth and joined him in the living room.

"Do you think the little drummer boy was offering to masturbate for the baby Jesus?" she said.

"WHAT?" he said.

"The little drummer boy.  You know..." She began to sing.  

"Shall I play for you, parapa-pum-pum.... Oh-ohn my drummmmmmm.

"You are sick" he said.

"All right all right, let's get into the real spirit of the season."  She took a deep breath and started to sing again, close to the right key, but not quite there.

"Good king Wenceslas looked down.... On the feast of Stephen.... Then they brought the pizza round.... Deep pan, crisp and even..."

"But the cheese was kinda lean..." he joined in, "Which was quite annoying..."

"Oh, I definitely want to see you find a way to rhyme 'annoying'!" she said.

"I-hi wanted much more cheese, even though it'd be cloyyyyy-iiiiing!"

"Very good!" she laughed, clapping.

"Happy New Year," he grinned.

"Happy New Year, my love," she smiled back, and kissed him.

"So, what's for breakfast?" she asked.

"Well, there is a bagel left," he replied.

"Yes, but we have no cream cheese or peanut butter left."

"Well, you can use the roule," he suggested, as she walked to the kitchen

"Ah, yes, one of three," she said, opening the fridge.  

As she opened the box, which had two creamy cheeses independently packaged, she asked:  "Why did you buy three of these?  I don't get it.  There are only two of us.  Did we need three?"

"It was the same price as buying one at the supermarket.  That's how Costco does it, you know that."

"Yes, but did we NEED three?"

"It was the same price as buying ONE at the supermarket!"

She pressed the toaster button and came back through to the living room, hands on hips, and said:  "OK, Honey, maybe I get this.  It's sort of like when I see a pair of boots for 60% off and, even though I don't need boots right at that moment, I buy them because they are on sale."

"It's not the same at ALL!" he said.  "You don't NEED the boots, and you SHOULDN'T buy the boots.  We both get to eat the cheese."

"OK, number one:  You get to see me in nice boots, so we both benefit.  Number two:  The boots last WAAAAY longer than the cheese!"

"It's not the same at all!"

"Yes it is.  We didn't need three of the same cheese."

"You don't need more pairs of boots!"

"See? It's the same."

"Boots cost way more than cheese!" he said, trying a different tack.

"Boots LAST way more time than cheese.  AND they don't make you fat!"

"Yes, but if you get fat they won't fit you."

"Your shoe size doesn't change!" she snapped.  "Everyone is skinny when it comes to shoes!"

"Well, every one of the three roules will be tasty."

"I think you need to spend time thinking about whether the Little Drummer Boy is pornographic!" she said, turning to head back to the kitchen.  "I'm going to make my bagel!"

"No!" he yelled after her.  "Not fair!  You can't win this by distracting me by ruining a Christmas Carol!"

"Too late!" she yelled back, taking the hot bagel out of the toaster.  She leaned sideways to stick her head around the corner of the kitchen door.

"PARAPA-PUM-PUM!" she yelled.

To read more in the He Said She Said series, click the category link on the left.

He Said She Said - Dog Day Afternoon

  

  

   

   

   

   

   

   

   

"How was your day?" she asked, getting into the car.

 

"Good," he replied.  "I got some stuff done."

 

"How are the babies?" she asked.

 

"They're fine," he said.  "I walked Puppy Dog to the coffee shop and I walked Puppy Girl into town to take back the DVDs."

 

"Awesome!" she said.  "What did they do the rest of the day?"

 

"Honey," he said, "you worked from home this week, you saw what they're like.  They did some lounging, some loafing and then some slobbing about.  

 

"Puppy Dog moved from his cushion in my office to his cushion in front of the TV, and then he sat at the front door for a bit and growled at anyone who had the cheek to be out on our block.  

 

"Puppy Girl lay on the couch and, when she got sick of that, she went and lay on our bed and, when she got sick of that, she moved back to the couch again.

 

"They had a very busy day," he finished, as her giggles burst into full blown laughter.

 

To see more in the He Said She Said series, click the categories link on the left.

 

 

He Said She Said - Dog TV

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Are you coming?" he called, from halfway down the block.

 

"Hang on," she called back.  "He's sniffing.  I think that, for dogs, this is their TV!"

 

"TV?" he asked, after she had caught up.  "That makes sense."

 

"Yup," she said, as they reached a fire hydrant and the dogs sniffed it thoroughly, "TV.  What do you think this episode is?" 

  

"It's a soap opera," he said.

 

"Aaah.  Right.  It has a big cast.  There's the Chihuahua-cross-Alsatian, product of forbidden love, repeating her mother's mistakes by laying down her scent for the dogs of the neighborhood."

 

"Then there's the old dog," he said, looking down at Puppy Dog lifting his leg to leave his mark on the hydrant.  "He was powerful once, but there's room for some young consigliere to rise up and control the gang now."

 

"Ooooh!" she said.  "There'll be snarling and growling when that happens!"

 

"Yeah," he said.  "And that poodle?  He's gonna make her his bitch!"

 

"I think we may need help," she laughed.

 

"That ship has sailed, Honey," he said, and they set off for home again.

 

To see more in the He Said She Said series, click the category link on the left.

  

  

He Said She Said - Snippets

 

Arabiatta sauce

"I tried to make an Arabiatta sauce," he said, "but I may have put in too much chili."

"Is it an OW-rabiatta sauce?" she asked.

"Oh HA HA HA." he said.

Kitchen duty

"Can you finish up cleaning the kitchen?" she asked, walking through the dining room with an armful of clean washing.

"I put the dishwasher on this morning, you know," he said, looking up from his iPad in his comfortable spot on the couch.

"I'm so sorry," she said, "I'm currently out of gold medals but, as soon as my new stock comes in, I'll be sure to award you one."

"Was that sarcasm?" he asked.

"SARCASM?  WHERE?  WHERE?" she yelled, as she looked behind her in an exaggerated fashion, threw all the washing onto the dining room table, and then ran into the bathroom, slamming the door shut.

"Let me know when it's safe to come out!" she called.

"Oh, very funny," he said, getting up to go and clean the kitchen.

To see more in the He Said She Said series, click here.

He Said She Said - Negotiation

They were walking home from the grocery store.

"Can you wait till tomorrow night for the roast vegetables for your lunches at work?" he asked.

"Yes," she said.  "Why?"

"I'm too tired to cook.  I'm thinking of just defrosting and heating up the leftover chili."

"Well, I won't say no to that," she said.  "That chili was amazing.  Also, I cooked a big pot of rice the other night so there's rice in the freezer."

"I''m going to have a baked potato," he said.  "But you can have rice."

"When we get home I'll hit the kitchen," he said.

"And when we get home I'll hit the couch," she said.  "I am going to hit the couch so hard it's going to call an abuse hotline for rescue!"

"Can you feed the dogs, first?" he asked.

"Sure," she said, adding: "I find these domestic negotiations so sexy."

"Well you can do it in lingerie if you like," he said.

"WHAT?" she screeched.

"You can do it in lingerie if you like," he repeated.

"Oh, thank God!" she sighed.  "I thought you said you were going to cook in lingerie!"

"Well I can if you want, but I don't think any of your stuff would fit me."

"OK, just stop!" she said.  "This is not a mental image I need."

"OI!" he replied, indignant.  "There's people who'd pay good money to see that!"

"Yes, dear, but they're all men."

"Oh, very funny!" he said.

To read more in the He Said She Said series, click here.

He Said She Said - Snippets

   

They were driving to meet friends for brunch.

"Maybe we should try that place sometime," he said, as they passed a restaurant.

"I don't know," she said. "I'm not sure it looks that great. There's a sign that says eight dollar steak night. For that price, it's probably tough, stringy meat. What's worse than that?"

"Five dollar steak night."

The dogs were lying on the floor next to them, growling over a bone.

"Can you hear it?" he asked. "What?" "It's the soundtrack of our lives, in Grrr minor."

For more He Said She Said, click here.

He Said She Said - Cupcakes

 

"It's a CUPCAKE!" she snapped.

"What is?" he asked.

"A cupcake."

"Um..."

"There's a little paper cup.  In it is a little cake.  It's a cupcake!

"Uh..."

"It doesn't need cream under the icing!  It doesn't need ganache in the middle!  It just needs to be a CUP.  CAKE."

"OK..."

"I don't want the extra calories.  I don't need the extra calories!  I just want to bite into slightly crunchy, sweet icing and then down into a soft, moist cake!  And have it be small, so I can only eat so much of it!"

"Honey?" he said.  "Have you seen the can opener?"

"I AM ON A CUPCAKE RANT HERE!" she yelled.  "CONCENTRATE!"

Silence.

"What is WRONG with these people?  I mean, the clue is IN. THE. NAME!  CUP!  CAKE!"

Silence.

"You're ignoring me now, aren't you?"

"Yup."

"Fine!"

He Said She Said - Food Network

 

 

 

 

 

 

They were watching a Food Network show about Mexican Cooking.  It was early in the day, and nobody had had any coffee yet.

 

 

"Who the hell is this?" she yelled from the kitchen.  "Is this someone from Food Network Star who's auditioning to actually get a real show on the channel?"

 

"No," he yelled back from the living room.  "It's a real show... about Mexican cooking."

 

"She sounds terrible!" she yelled.  "She isn't convincing me at all.  There is no way she has girlfriends coming round for lunch.  In fact, I doubt she has any friends at all!"

  

"You are so mean!" he said.  "I guess this is why her show is on at 6am.  See, now you're making me think like a Next Food Network Star judge," he said.  "I keep thinking things like 'That looks like a mess' and 'There's nothing original about this dish!' "

 

"I know," she replied.  

 

"So she's been saying that this cake recipe is something everyone used to ask her mother to bring to parties.  But the recipe looks pretty easy to me.  Do you think maybe the family friends were saying 'Hey, just tell her to make that cake again.  I'll make the Mole, you make the tortillas... let her do something she can't fuck up.' "

 

"Oh now who's mean?" she laughed.

 

"She's putting the mixture in a bundt tin!  I hate those things!" he yelled.  "My mother brought one back from the US when I was a kid and I could never get the cake to come out whole!  It has so many ridges that the cake just sticks!"

 

"Well watch how she does it," she said, pointing at the TV.

 

"She USES HALF A POUND OF BUTTER TO GREASE IT!" 

 

"Well there you go," she smiled.  "You learnt something new today after all."

 

"Oh, shut up," he said.

 

 

 

He Said She Said - Home Again Home Again Jiggety Jig

"Welcome home, Honey," she said.

"Thanks," he said, kissing her.  "It's good to be back."

"How was your flight?"

"Well they boarded the Gold customers but then went straight to general boarding so all the Silver level customers were really pissed off."

"Aw, Honey.  I know what a big difference these small perks make to your stress level when you do regular business travel.  I remember it well."

"I know.  It was so annoying!  Then I saw what I thought was a drag queen, and she turned out to be cabin crew!"

"No way!" she laughed.

"That whole collagen lip thing with the dark lip liner and the lighter lip gloss really doesn't work.  Someone needs to tell these women that."

"Agreed.  It's the female equivalent of the comb-over."

"But I ended up sitting next to some very interesting people.  He was the CEO of C_____ and he was there with his PR person.  I was in the middle seat of the Exit row."

"Oh, so you just plopped your ass right down between them in the middle of their conversation."

"Yup.  I just sat down, moved from side to side a little, stretched out my elbows and went 'AAAAAAH!' " he joked.

"So? Did anything come of the conversation?"

"I'm meeting with him on Tuesday!"

"Well done!"

"I know, I rock.  Rock around the clock!"  He laughed.

"Nice to hear you happy and giggling, Honey," she said, "but I'd rather hear you laughing all the way to the bank."

"It's coming, just give me time..."

"OK.  Well, in the meantime, you can cook dinner."

"Aw, come on!  I just got back from a very hard trip!"

"Hard?  HARD?  Three meetings?  Swanning about in LA with your Hollywood writing buddy?  That was about as hard as my flabby ass!"

"Actually your ass is getting quite hard..."

"Thank you, I've been working to get--- HEY!  Don't try and flatter me into letting you off the hook!"  You cook!"

"Damn," he said.  "So close..."

To read more in the He Said She Said series, click here.