Quote Unquote - Weinerbashing

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

Democratic Representative of New York, Anthony Weiner, on the floor of the Congress, on the Republicans trying to repeal the Obamacare Healthcare bill:

  

"First they start by making stuff up. You kinda have to wonder if any of them actually read the bill.  

  

'130,000 new agencies' - NOT TRUE! 

  

'New IRS agents' - NOT TRUE!

  

'Death panels' - NOT TRUE!

 

'Members aren't covered' - NOT TRUE!

 

No Tort Reform in it - not true.

 

You know, I wanna just advise people watching at home playing that now popular drinking game of you take a shot whenever a Republican says something that's not true... Please!  Assign a designated driver  - this is gonna be a long afternoon!"

   

No matter which side you're on, that's f-ing funny.

 

Watch the rant here.

 

  

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Quote Unquote - Mama mia

 

 

 

 

  

 

 

 

 "She'd say: Hey, Superstar!  Take out the trash!"

    

 Alice Cooper, describing his mother's attitude to his fame

  

    

  

"Are you one of those Beatles?"

   

Alice Cooper's mother, answering the phone when Paul McCartney called

  

  

  

To hear the interview, click here.

  

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Quote Unquote - Fran Liebowitz

 

 

Audience member: "What's the best source for unbiased news?"

 

Anne: "Here's the problem.  Here's what news used to be: information.  That's what news is.

 

Now every article in the New York Times - no matter what it is - it starts with, like: 'On a rocky road in Afghanistan...'  

It's, like, three paragraphs till you get to 'a bomb blew up in Afghanistan.'  The bomb is the news.  The beginning is the writing. 

 

Facts are what's important in news.  But no-one's interested in facts anymore.  People are interested - and this I find astonishing - they're interested in other people's opinions.  

 

So, unbiased news, I don't think we'll have [it] anymore, because no-one seems to know what news is.

 

They turn on the news and they watch people give their opinions.  That's what they see on the news, that's what they see on the TV, that's what they see on the internet, that's what they participate in.

 

Here's how I feel when someone on CNN says 'And here's our twitter number' or whatever - I'm not really up on technology - 'We wanna hear what you think.'

 

And I think: Really?  I don't."

 

 

 

"The media has replaced every institution.  It's the only authority.  I mean, it seems to be an authority.  It's replaced all other institutions.

 

When they first invented TV, people thought TV would be a failure.  They thought that, if people could see around they screen, they wouldn't be absorbed by it, because they would be distracted.  

 

They would see, like, the lamp and the sofa and they wouldn't be absorbed by it.

 

...

 

But no-one could have imagined what really happened, which is that the world went inside the television and became the world."

 

   

From: Public Speaking (2010) Documentary about Fran Liebowitz made by Martin Scorsese.

   

  

  

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Update on Sunday, November 28, 2010 at 5:34PM by Ittybittycrazy

ABC World News Sunday, November 28th topics:

• Wikileaks scandal
  • Interview with the reporters about the topic
• US and South Korea starting war games
• Voting in Haiti
• Bomb attempt in Portland, Oregon
• President Obama going to sit down with Republican's this week + current Lame Duck session
  • Interview with Snr Washington Editor about the Lame Duck session who told us how the Republicans and Democrats "feel" right now
• American Holiday sales
• Struggling US home owners scammed
• Alcohol in whipped cream - Whipped Lightning
• Couple in Pennsylvania hid the existence of their 5 children
• Dr Jim treating the homeless in Pittsburgh

So ABC World News has exactly three items of news to do with outside the US.

BBC News website front page:

• Wikileaks
• Irish bailout agreed
• China calls for Korean talks
• Brazil forces take over Rio slum
• US Mosque ablaze after bomb plot
• Candidates denounce Haiti voting fraud
• Swiss pass foreign convict vote
• Egypt votes
• Ivory Coast votes
• Arrests before Bangladesh strike
• Cosmos has pre-Big Bang marks
• Train wreck in Colorado

Quote Unquote - World Cup

 

Our friend's four year old son, a few hours before the World Cup final between Spain and the Netherlands (Holland):

"Daddy?  Is Peter Pan going to be watching the Neverlands today?"

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Quote Unquote - God is gay

 

 

We were channel surfing and ended up watching the final scene of a movie called Whatever Works.  

 

I have no idea who the characters were.  But it was Ed Begley Jr and some actor I don't know sitting at a bar.

 

Ed Begley Jr: "Gay?  A member of the, uh---"

 

Other guy: "Of what?"

 

Ed Begley Jr: "The homosexual persuasion."

 

Other guy: "[Laughs] My God!  You make it sound like a religion.  Yes, if it's a religion, you could call me devout.  A fanatic."

 

Ed Begley Jr: "But... that's a sin against God's law!"

 

Other guy: "God is gay."

 

Ed Begley Jr: "He can't be.  He made the whole universe perfect.  The oceans, the skies, the beautiful flowers, the trees everywhere!"

 

Other guy: "That's right.  He's a decorator."

 

 

 To read more in the Quote Unquote series, click here.

Quote Unquote - The Internet

Fluffy Bear has a 65 year old friend who recently got online, finally embracing email.

One of his first messages to his friends was:

"Very impressed with the internet. It already knew that my penis was small and dysfunctional."

To see more in the Quote Unquote series, click here. 

Quote Unquote - Communism

Victoria Jackson, Tea Party activist: "The President is a Communist!"

Interviewer: "The President is not a Communist."

"Well, I watch Glenn Beck and he's taught me well. Progressive is the new Communist."

Quote Unquote - Kids

Ben Stiller, in the movie Greenberg, to a bunch of kids:

"I hope I die before I meet one of you in an interview."

Oh my God! I so get that!

Quote Unquote - More priceless Bill

 

We were watching the season premier of Dancing with the Stars.  

Pamela Anderson - dressed, of course, in a hot pink, sparkly mini dress - all lips and tits, had just completed her Cha Cha.

"You do realize," said Bill, "that your TV now has herpes."

Quote Unquote - More TV gems

 

Frankie and Mike are talking about their son, Axl:

Frankie: He's always at the Donahues!  I never see him anymore.  I miss him.

Mike: That's why you're the mom.  I don't!

Frankie: Yeah but - Mike! - think about it.  He's 16.  He's only gonna be living here for a few more years.

Mike: Don't worry, Honey.  When the outside world gets a load o' him, I think they'll send him right back!

The Middle, TV sitcom on ABC

Quote Unquote - Cows

 

 

 

Some computer animated movie on the TV which we stumbled on called Jane and the Dragon.

 

Dragon: "All right.  Here's the plan.  I'm going to go pay a visit to some cows."

 

Jane: "Some cows?"

  

Dragon: "Mooooo is nature's finest sound.  It starts with an Mmmmmm and it ends with an Ooooo.  Ah, genius."

 

I had to rewind the DVR and check, because here's what I heard:

 

"Cows are nature's finest snack.  You start with an mmmm and end with an oooo."

 

 

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Quote Unquote - Gems from my TV

 

Greek (Mondays on ABC) -- Rebecca, sick of Casey's perkiness:  

"Do little cartoon birds hold up your robe for you in the morning?"

Vince Vaughan in the movie Couples Retreat:

"Relationships are a two way street, not a hiway and a bike path!"

Stephen Colbert to Jon Stewart (Comedy Channel):

"Is that your face? I thought you were wearing a ski mask made out of an elephant's scrotum!"

Acuvue contact lens ad. Takin' the hi ground:

Blonde Twin 1: "What's astigmatism?"

Twin 2: "It's just a big word for youdon'tseeassharplyasyoucould!" 

Wilhelmina Slater, Ugly Betty (ABC):

"Well I could make an effort to be liked, but I'd rather be hated than be inconvenienced."

Heidi Fleisch on Celebrity Detox (VH1):

"I hate people but I'm nice to everyone because I look at them all as a Jury member. You never know who the Jury's gonna be."

Ellie to Jules Cougar Town (ABC):

"See? That's not a great say-out-loud thought."

Caprica (SyFy):

"Someone makes you feel guilty, you figure out what they feel guilty about and talk about that."

Mark to Amanda about Betty, Ugly Betty (ABC)

"If only she'd apply some of her pluck to her chin hairs."

Paul McCartney @ Golden Globes

"Animation is not just for children, it's also for adults... who take drugs." 

Cougar Town:

"You better watch out or you'll be driving in a car with no brakes and heading down Trouble Highway!"

50 Cent on the Graham Norton show (BBC America):

"If you pray and you don't get an answer, that's God telling yo' ass NO!"

To see more in the Quote Unquote series, click here.

Quote Unquote - Football Girl

 

Overheard at a party: 

So I'm at the bar with Jane and, like always, she makes friends with the bartender in, like, ten minutes.  So I ask him.  I'm like:

"My friend gets on so well with the bartenders wherever we go.  What is it?"

He said it was easy, he could tell me.

So he goes:

"When a woman sits down at the bar, we say 'Is she a Sex and the City Woman' or a 'Football Woman'  Your friend is a Football Woman.  

She's sympathetic to the male condition."

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Quote Unquote - Only Dr House could say it

The African American aspiring football star is lying in the bed, his worried mother close by. House injects him with something. The patient reacts badly to the medication.

House: "You're turning white."

Mother: "What does that mean?"

House: "It means he doesn't need football to get a decent job anymore."

Later in the show:

House: "Do you know why you're black?"
Patient: "Because God loves me more than you"

Quote Unquote - Cadbury vs. Hersheys

 

"As you may have noticed, the above suggestions work on the assumption that everything tastes nice when it's swaddled in Dairy Milk chocolate. Which it does. A bloated, over-ripe corpse dredged from a polluted canal would taste nice if it was ­encased in a Dairy Milk shell. If it was coated in Hershey's, you'd find yourself glumly picking the chocolate off to get at the sludgey grey flesh ­beneath. And that's a FACT."

Charlie Brooker, the Guardian Newspaper, UK

Quote Unquote - Office Insults

 

"Your breasts should be on display in a Swiss miniatures museum."

Geek to a colleague in Better off Ted, a comedy on ABC

Quote Unquote - Consultants

 

I love the little nuggets of Zen from the pothead contestants. Like "I did my best. I hit really loud notes."

My Tweep, @contranym 

Quote Unquote - Twitter

 

Overheard at dinner:

"My grandmother thought Twitter was the plural of Twat!"

Quote Unquote - A Christmas Reminder from Sting

"Christmas is a very difficult time for some people.  It has this gravitational pull towards your roots all the time.  So if we can, we gravitate towards somewhere very warm, very familiar: home, the cradle, the hearth, the fireside.

We want to be in these places.

But, people who can't do that, who have no home to go to, they find it very, very depressing and it's not all 'God rest ye merry gentlemen' and 'everything is wonderful.'

Things aren't.

Things are tough."

Sting.

Who are you helping out this Christmas?  Do you have a colleague who is an immigrant and doesn't have family here and needs an invitation to Christmas dinner?  Have you donated that old coat to the homeless?  Have you dropped a gift for an impoverished child in a collection bin at your local market?  Did you donate some cans of food to your local soup kitchen?

Before you eat yourself stupid and open all those presents, help someone out.

Quote Unquote - My little baby girl...

 

Daughter was on her play cell phone. I asked who she was talking to and she said her boyfriend. I said what's his name. she said "men." DAMN!

@WhyIsDaddyCryin (http://www.whyisdaddycrying.com/)