Quote Unquote - Office politics

 

From New Tricks, a British series about a group of formerly retired Police officers who are contractors to Scotland Yard, solving cold cases.  They are managed by a full-time Police officer, called Sandra.

In this scene, she is in the pub, talking to her boss.  She complains about some HR tests being done on her team.

"You never were very good at politics, Sandra," he says.

"With all due respect, Sir," she replies, "that's like telling someone they're not a very good arsehole!"

Quote Unquote - You're just wasting your time

 

(In a derisive tone...")

"You're too dumb to insult!"

Stu to Alan in The Hangover

Quote Unquote - Culinary revelations

 

(With an incredulous tone...)

"I didn't know Rice and Beans was Mexican!"

Kendra

Quote Unquote - PC vs. Mac

Fluffy Bear on a business trip, via IM:

[2:48:35 PM] crappo music in this coffee shop

[2:48:41 PM] too fucking hippie by far

[2:48:56 PM] I can see 10 laptops from where I'm sitting and mine is the only PC

Quote Unquote - The buffet of life

"You know when you're young like you are, Millie, it's easy.  Man.  Woman.  Bottom.  Top.  Sex is just this big buffet and you're just a fat man with a fork.  But as you get older... it's harder to get a fork."

Dolores Herbig, character in Dead Like Me

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"Can this be the last one? Please?  Pretty please?"

Fluffy Bear, while I was watching a Real Housewives of New Jersey marathon.

Quote Unquote - Just reward

"You bought her [a car] for flunking out of school?  What you gonna get her when she gets knocked up?"

Albie, Caroline's son, on Real Housewives of New Jersey, referring to Jaqueline's spoiled brat daughter.

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Stolen from Debineezer's A Beautifully Messy Mess of Contradictions, this quote is a perfect update for an old standard:

"Put down the rose-colored crack pipe."

Superpowers by David J. Schwartz.

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"I don't like chatty.  I don't do chatty.  I like quiet.  Quiet and mean.  Those are my people."

Edie Falco in Nurse Jackie.

Quote Unquote - Man on the verge of a nervous breakdown

Ashes to Ashes, from the BBC, tells the story of Alex Drake, a female detective who gets shot and, while in a coma, gets beamed back in time and has to work on the London police force in 1981.

Her boss is DCI Hunt, an old school policeman who beats up witnesses for information, has a filthy mouth, smokes all the time and drives a red Audi Quattro.  The slang for boss is "Guv", short for Governor.

In tonight's episode, DCI Hunt gets beaten up.  The next morning he comes into the station and doesn't want to talk to Alex.  As she pursues him, wanting to talk, he asks to be locked up in a cell so he can get some peace.

His staff, two numbskulls, Chris and Ray, are standing with Alex, wondering what is going on.

"Perhaps it's one of 'em nervous breakdown things," says Chris.

"Nah," says Ray.  "If the Guv saw a nervous breakdown comin', he'd twat it in the face."

 

Quote Unquote - Directions to Soddom

A friend of mine - let's call her Dolly because, like the protagonist in Hello Dolly, everyone loves her - was in a meeting with her young assistant and a designer.

For reasons I won't go into - I'll just reassure you that it was part of a joke and not a homophobic comment - someone said the word sodomite.

"What's a sodomite?" the young assistant asked.

Dolly explained as best she could without getting too graphic.  At some point, a light seemed to go on in the assistant's eyes.

"Aah," she said.  "So is the guy on the bottom called a soddomitten?"

Quote Unquote

On reading the post below, Fluffy Bear said:

"If I'd known it was worth that much, I'd have sold mine!"

Quote Unquote

This quote is rewritten from memory of it from BBC World Service radio:

"You have to go to bed with yourself at night and wake up with yourself in the morning and decide if you've done what's right for you."

Natalie Dylan, a 22 year old Women's Studies student from California who is auctioning her virginity.   The highest bids are rumoured to be over $3 million.  And, yes, that picture is of her.

Read more here.

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"Hey!  Blessings in disguise!  What are you hiding?"

Stephen Colbert, The Colbert Report, Comedy Central, summing up my feelings towards bad things that you know happen for a reason, you just wish the sodding reason would hurry up and show itself.

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"I only drink diet soda.  I'm hoping the preservatives will add some stability to my life."

Fisher, a character on Bones, FOX Channel

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A friend of mine works in the mobile industry.  He saw a conference in his local area where he could go to network, promote his company's offering, etc., so he asked his boss if he could go.  His boss said...

"What is Twitter and why should we care about it?"

True story.

Quote Unquote - Close up

"The Swedish singer’s face is so rigid and mask like that the small child of a friend of mine burst into tears on her first close up to camera."

Everywhereventually, on the Eurovision 1st Semi-final

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Bill is on a Lost in Translation trip in Japan.  

He committed the cardinal foreigner sin and ordered a foodstuff that is traditional in your home country but not in the one you're visiting.

He ordered bacon.

He told me that, when it came he took one look at it's color and coined a new phrase:

"I had to call it as I saw it - it was gray-con."

Quote Unquote - Success

"Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm." 

Winston Churchill

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Fluffy Bear:

"Today is Star Wars day. May the fourth be with you!"

Yes, I have to live with this.