Hello from Puppy Dog - Smelly Welly

Hello Friends!

Last night Mama came up to my bed to say goodnight to me, and I happened  to have just cut the cheese/beeped my horn/floated an air biscuit/hummed a rroid/puffed the magic dragon/blown my trouser trumpet.  

Now she's been calling me "Smelly Welly" all day!

It's NOT FAIR!

It's not my fault I farted!  I didn't do it on purpose!  It just happens! 

And it's not my fault she came over at that moment!  I didn't ask her to come and say goodnight!

And at least my farts aren't noisy like Mama and Dada's are!

Sometimes I jump up from my bed because I think there's a stranger in the house with a trumpet, or a kitten mewing, or some crazy 1st Amendmenter shooting off a few rounds!

Then Mama or Dada - whoever is the culprits - start to giggle at me!

I don't think it's very funny!

And if they think their farts are funny, how come mine aren't?  Huh?  Huh?

IT'S NOT FAIR!

Lots of licks and woofs,

 

Puppy Dog

  

Hello from Puppy Dog - Treat time!

 

I wish Mama could talk dog.  She just doesn't listen to me. 

Here's an example:

Mama: "Do you want a treat?"

Me: Yes, please.

Mama: "Have you been a good boy?"

Me: Well, yes, I think I have, frankly.

Mama: "Does my good boy want a treat?"

Me: I already said yes, Mama.

Mama: "Should we go get my boy a treat?"

Me: Is the Pope Catholic?

Mama: "Should we?  Should we go get a treat?"

Me: Does a dog mark in the woods?

Mama: "Maybe he should get a treat.  Should he get a treat?"

Me: Are squirrels the scourge of suburbia? Are cats plotting to take over the planet?  Are tennis balls there to be skinned and chewed till they break?  Are dog prams an abomination?  Are pigeons flying rats?  Do humans pretend chocolate is bad for dogs to keep it all to themselves?  Is peanut butter proof there is a God?  In sniffing a butt the best way to introduce yourself?  Is shedding Nature's way of telling you to brush me?  Do Hairless Apes blame their farts on dogs?  Is the toilet my backup water bowl?  Come on woman!  There are small ducks bathing in my pool of drool! 

Mama:  "Here's your treat!"

Me: About F-ing time, woman.

Sigh.

Hairless Apes are so dumb.

Lots of licks and woofs,

 Puppy Dog

Hello from Puppy Dog - Hide and seek

Hello friends!

 

Mama and Dada are playing a new game with me!  

  

It's called Hide and Seek. 

 

Mama makes me sit on my cushion, then shows me my toy.  Then Mama says "Hide and seek!  Hide and seek!"

And then Mama makes me stay there while she runs into different rooms of the house.  I can hear her running on the wooden floor... Doof!  Doof!  Doof!... so I know which rooms she runs into.

 

Then Mama comes back to me and shows me her hands and tells me the toy is gone!  Then she says I can leave my cushion and I have to run around the house and find my toy!

It's such fun!!!

I always find my toy and Mama tells me what a good boy I am! 

Then Dada did it!  Mama kept giggling because Dada was skipping around the house with his hands behind his back.  He kept his back away from me so he was backing into rooms.  He looked very silly and I was giggling! 

  

Dada was pretty good at the game, though!  It took me a few minutes to find my toy that time! 

I love this new game! 

Again! I told Mama.  Let's play again! 

We played lots of times and I got better and better.  Mama doesn't seem to realize that I can tell which room she pauses in so I know my toy is in there! 

We played a few more times but then Mama said something about being tired and that being "her exercise for the day." 

Hairless apes are so lazy! 

Anyway, it was fun while it lasted.  Maybe we'll play again tomorrow! 

Lots of licks and woofs,

  

Puppy Dog

Hello from Puppy Dog - Defending the Den... Again

Hello friends!

This morning I woke up and ran to the door because hairless apes were going past the house on strange wheeled things.  They were talking and making noise and I had to defend the den!

Dada came to the door and told me to stop barking and said something about "Sunday", "7am" and "I am bloody well awake now." 

He was standing next to me so I knew he was awake.  What a silly thing to say!

I explained to him that hairless apes on wheeled thingies are the modern version of Marauders on Horseback and dogs are taught the stories of old when we are little puppies in the litter.  It's my job to defend the den and that's what I did!

But Dada wasn't listening.  He was tapping his fingers in front of his light screen.

So I went to lay down on the bed with Mama.  She was making funny noises, kinda like a those machines the strange men use next door to cut the grass.  Then she moved and her foot hit my back leg and I growled to tell her that is not OK and jumped off the bed.

Mama yelled something about "Sunday", "8am" and "I am bloody well awake now."

Mama was sitting up so I knew she was awake.

Why do hairless apes keep stating the obvious?

Lots of licks and woofs,

Puppy Dog

Hello from Puppy Dog - My special names

 

Hello friends!

Mama has new names for me. But this time they are flattering!

She calls me John Wayne.  I think it's because, like him, I'm strong and handsome and great in a fight.  

Mama says it's cos I bring the Wild West into our house.  She says the little clumps of my shed hair that end up in the corners are tumbleweeds.  

Then she forgives me and names me after a younger cowboy.  I like this part because I get scratched behind the ears.  She runs up to me and says "I just don't know how to quit you, Jack Twist!"  

She also calls me after a famous TV presenter.  I think it's because, like him, I am a great guy and good with people!

She says that the carcasses of my dead soft toys, the little clouds of toy guts and my small tire toy make it look like we have a White Trash Yard.  Whenever we go outside and she notices that things don't look so great she points at me and starts to yell-sing "Go Jerry!  Go Jerry!  Go Jerry!"

My Mama loves me.

Lots of licks and woofs,

Puppy Dog

Hello from Puppy Dog - Flashing lights

Hello Friends!

Today was a great day!  

First Mama took me for a walk up to the coffee shop, where she met a friend.  A nice man walked by, patted my head, went away and came back with cookies!  He was my new bestestest friend!

Then a big lady hairless ape came long with a very small hairless ape strapped to her chest.  The small hairless ape's feet were hanging down and I had a sniff and a little lick of it's toes.  It's a good thing that dogs and hairless apes are friends, because otherwise that little foot would have made a nice snack!  Mmmmmm...

Then we walked home, said hello to Dada and got back in the car.  Mama drove me to the big park!  I ran and chased the ball and said hello to a tiny 6 month old Dachshund and two massive Burmese Mountain Dogs.  

Then I went for a swim!  It was great!

There were other hairless apes and dogs and lots of tennis balls in the water!  I got a bunch of them - I can get three in my mouth!  I thought I was being really fast and strong and clever but Mama got cross with me.  She took the balls away and threw them to the other dogs.  No fair!  If I can swim faster than them, that's their problem!  Mama can be very weird.

Then we drove home.  Mama was behaving very strangely.  There were lots of moving dens and we weren't going very fast.  

Mama was yelling strange words that I didn't understand.  I thought she said something about "You mustard!" and "Sheet!" but that didn't make sense.  Dada once let me sniff his mustard and it had a very different smell to Mama and Dada's sheets.  

Then Mama turned off the big road and we went faster down some little roads.  Then we went down a hill and a big moving den with pretty flashing lights was behind us.  Mama stopped and a lady came up to her window.  

I didn't know why she was coming up to our moving den so I was barking really loudly.  It didn't make her go away.  I don't know why - call it animal instinct - but I could tell that Mama didn't want the lady to be there.  

The lady said something about "40" and "25" and asked Mama to give her some cards and some paper and then she went away.  Then she came back and said something about "A warning" and gave Mama her stuff back.  I could tell Mama was cross.  She even turned off the music on the radio.

So then we were on our way again... but very slowly.

It took a very long time to get home.  We got back on the main road with the other moving dens.  It was so slow!  Thank God I was still damp from my swim, so I didn't get too hot.  

What a busy day!

Lots of licks and woofs,

Puppy Dog

Hello from Puppy Dog - Singin' Mama

  

Hello Friends!

Mama can be a bit irritating sometimes.  She keeps singing!

Tonight, I heard her on the phone with Dada, and here is what happened:

"OK, so I'll see you in twenty minutes," Mama said into the phone.  

Then she turned to me.

"Dada's coming home!" she squeaked.  

Then - urgh! - the singing.

"Dada's coming home, Dada's coming home, Hey ho the dairy oh, Daday's coming home."

OK, Mama, I told her, I get it.

"You'll give him a lick, You'll give him a lick, Hey ho the dairy oh, You'll give him a lick."

OK, Mama, I told her.  He's coming home and, when he comes in, I'll give him lick-kisses.  Got it.  

"Dada's coming home, Dada's coming home, Hey ho the dairy oh, Dada's coming home."

Yes, Mama, I told her.  I heard you the first time.  Dada home, me lick.  Mission briefing complete.  I am tongued and ready.  

"You'll give him a lick, You'll give him a lick, Hey ho the dairy oh, You'll give him a lick."

Mama, you know I love you, I said, but you aren't really blessed with the best voice in the world.  I've seen those other ladies on the TV, and you just don't sound like them.  Mama, don't make me get all Simon Cowell on yo' ass.

"Dada's coming home, Dada's coming home..."

Mama, shouldn't you be concentrating on putting away the clean dishes from the dishwasher?  You might drop something if you are distracted by that - uh - singing.

"...Hey ho the diary oh, Dada's coming home."

Mama!  Enough already!  I'm going into the lounge to my bed.

Why don't hairless apes speak dog?

Lots of licks and woofs,

Puppy Dog

Hello from Puppy Dog - Defending the Den... Yet Again

 

Hello Mama's friends!

Last night Mama and Papa went out and I was alone at home.  

Then there were big booms outside!  

I didn't know what was going on!  It's my job to defend the den so I looked out the window, then out the front door, and I even ran to the back door.  I couldn't see anything!

But the booms kept on coming and people were yelling something about the 4th of July and "Wooo" and I thought there was some kind of evil attack.  

Maybe the Super Sinister Squirrels had finally organized together!  Or, worse still, the Evil Kitty Cats!  I know they are planning to take over the planet... it's just a matter of time.  

I barked a warning at some other dogs on my block and they barked back that they were on Full Den Defence Alert too.  Look after your dog because we are all that stands between you and slavery to the Kitty Cat Overlords!  We are the Thin Furry Line!

Mama and Dada left the TV on but that didn't help distract me.  There was some silly movie on with a big hairy ape, a woman in a white dress with strange round ears, a blonde guy who looked bored all the time, two robots and some man in a black dress with a speech impediment.  And lots of strange flying birds that shot out bright red pee.  No dogs at all!  

The booms kept on coming and I stood guard at the door, ready for action!  I was practising my lion growls and my Kung fu leaps and my hippo-jaw bites in my head.  Haai-YA!  

But then Mama and Dada came home and they gave me a snack and patted my head and everything was alright again.

I bet that other dogs, like me, were extra vigilant, and the Evil Kitty Cat Attack was delayed.  

I say delayed because I know those horrible cats.... they never give up.  BEWARE!

Lots of licks and woofs,

 

Puppy Dog

 

 

Hello from Puppy Dog - Silly Billy

Hello Mama's friends!

Maybe you can help me.  Mama calls me silly names and I want her to stop.  What can I do?  

It's ridiculous!  

I am Puppy Dog!  I am not...

• Herr Poopenstein


• El Poochador


• Mon Petit Chou Chou Chien


• Dogalogalog


• Puppy Wuppy Luppy


• Choccie Luv


• Sir Barkalot


• Growly Wowly


• The Incredible Burp


• Sir Wagalot


• Superdawg


• Dog Vader


• Smelly Belly


• Sir Sloppy Schnoz


• Cutie Wootie Poof Poof


• Furry Pants


• El Perro de Poop


• King Pup


• My Little Furry Monster


• El Poochamente

Make her stop!

Lots of licks and woofs,

Puppy Dog

Hello from Puppy Dog - Dogette

Hello Friends!

Dogette is here!  

We were growly playing and then - and then! - the Postman came! 

We were the perfect Ninja team!  We jumped up against the front door and barked and growled and jumped and barked and growled.

Then Killjoy Mama came and made us be quiet and sit.

You should've seen us!  

Dogette said I should call her Bonnie and she'd call me Clyde!

Dogette said she should call me Mickey and I should call her Mallorie!

When I asked why she said it's 'cos we were like those other Dynamic Duos who were lean and mean!

I said Dogette should call me Statler and I should call her Waldorf!

Dogette just rolled her eyes.

I really don't understand women sometimes.

Lots of licks and woofs, 

Puppy Dog

Hello from Puppy Dog - Dogette and me

Hello Friends!

Dogette is my girlfriend and I love her.

She is older than me, so Mama tells me I am Dogette's Toy Boy.  I don't know what a Toy Boy is.  I guess Mama calls me that 'cos Dogette bites me like she does to her toys.

Dogette is coming to stay with us for a few days tomorrow.

I can't wait!

We are going to run and play and bark and play and growl and play and chase and play and bite and play and then Dada is going to tell us to shut up so we'll stay still for three minutes and then we'll bark and play and growl and play and...

Anyway, I told Dogette about the horrible Postman and she wasn't impressed.

"Omigod Puppy Dog!" she said.  "This one time? We had workmen in our house? And I TOTALLY got out of the yard? And I chased the Postman down the street!  I ran and I growled and I barked!  It was, like, SICK.  

My Daddy had to run? And he had to catch me? And the Postman was such a TARD.  He was, like, AH WON'T DELIVER MAIL TO YOUR WHOLE BLOCK! And my Daddy was, like, SORRY.  And I was, like, I'm NOT sorry 'cos you are a TARD.  And my Daddy was, like, dragging me back into the house? And it was so LAME.  

So please don't tell me 'bout just LUNGING at the Postman 'cos that is so RANDOM!  You should have, like, CHASED him!"

 I wasn't going to let her diss me.

"Oh HEEEELL NO!  Talk to the PAW!" I told her.  "Were YOU there? Were you?

I don't THINK so.  

You.  Weren't.  THERE.  

I only lunged 'cos my Mama was, like, RIGHT THERE and she, like, got between me and the Postman so what you 'spect me to do?  

Anyway, I made my Postman SCREAM.  It was, um, SICKER.

I am totally BADASS."

I think I heard her mumble something about smelly ass not badass but I decided to just let her win.

After all, happy bitch = no glitch.

Lots of licks and woofs,

Puppy Dog

Hello from Puppy Dog - Defending the Den

Hello Friends!

I am on my cushion, not allowed to move.  I am being punished for going after the Postman.

But - come on!  I bark a short warning at everyone who comes up onto the porch and then they usually say "Hello!" nicely and my Mama and Dada say hello and then I can sniff them and greet them and we are all friends.

But the Postman guy just isn't like that.

He sneaks up the stairs without making noise and I can smell his fear.

When an animal is approaching you and they are scared it's because they are about to attack you so you had better attack first - all dogs know that!  It was one of the first thing my birth mother told me and my litter.

So I barked and jumped at the screen door and it came open and so I ran onto the porch and the Postman started screaming at me and swung his bag at me and Mama chased me and the Postman yelled so I got scared and I barked at him and then I ran around him and Mama grabbed me and pulled me back from him and he kept shouting and screaming and swinging his bag and Mama dragged me in the house and the Postman yelled "I'M SO SICK OF THAT DAMN DOG!" and walked away and Mama slammed the front door and sent me to my bed and told me I had to stay.  She yelled at me, too!

It's not fair!

I'M so sick of that damn sneaky Postman coming up to my den on his tippy toes.  

Why doesn't he walk normally so we know someone is coming up from the street?  There are 14 steps up to our house - I'd be much more relaxed if I had earlier warning.

Why doesn't he just say hello so I can hear he has a nice, friendly voice?

Why doesn't he put his hand at the screen, palm down and let me sniff him so we can make friends?

But no, he sneaks around, I bark, and I am the bad guy.

It's not fair!

If someone sneaks up to you, do you like it?  

He's lucky we don't live in the South - he'd probably get shot.

Lots of licks and woofs, 

Puppy Dog

Hello from Puppy Dog - The Dysonmonster

Hello Friends!

Today Mama played with the Dysonmonster.  I hate that damned thing!

Mama plays with it every now and again and I just don't know why.  

I'm always here, available to play Fetch.  Why does Mama need that horrible thing?

That stupid Dysonmonster is boring.  It only plays in the house.  I am versatile.  I play in the yard and in the house.  Sometimes I even bring some of the yard with me when I come into the kitchen!

That stupid Dysonmonster needs everything in the house moved around when it comes out to play.  I don't need things to be moved around.  I can get under them and around them and, if Mama isn't looking, I can even get up on top of them!

That stupid Dysonmonster has a terrible howl that just goes on and on and on.  And the moon isn't even up!  At least I know when howling is appropriate.  It's just good manners, after all!

And - here's the worst thing!  Mama forgets how much she loves me when she plays with the Dysonmonster!  Today she called me a "Walking Furball!"  

I'm going to go and sit down on my cushion and sulk now.  It isn't fair!

Lots of licks and woofs, 

Puppy Dog

Hello from Puppy Dog - Mama's Pecadilloes

Hello Friends!

I know Mama has been writing about me, so I decided fair's fair - I am going to tell you about Mama's peccadilloes!

Mama talks to me in strange ways.  I know I'm still a (fur)kid, but she sometimes talks to me like I am still a little puppy who doesn't know anything about the world.  It can be a bit annoying, really.

She also seems to think I can't understand proper English.  So there's the high voice, and then there's the funny words:

• Haffgoddabaw? = Have you got a ball?  This means Mama is going to play Fetch with me when she sees me bring her a tennis ball.  So, even though it sounds kinda silly, it means we're going to play!


• Hoozgoobaw? - Who's a good boy?  This is when Mama is happy with me and it means I am going to get petted and scratched behind the ears and stroked.  He he he.  I like being scratched behind the ears.


• Wezzabaw? = Where's the ball?  This is when Mama decides she wants to play Fetch with me, which happens at the strangest times and is always a wonderful surprise!  So she is asking me to go find a ball so we can play together.  I always find one really fast.


• Cumseetya! = Come and sit here.  This is when Mama calls me to sit on the couch with her.  I can curl up and she scratches the top of my head and I can rest my chin on her leg and it's really snuggly and warm and mmmmmmmm....


• Wotchoodoo? = What are you doing?  Mama says this to me as she stamps both her feet on the ground and bends down, which means we are about to wrestle!  I get to run and jump and she holds my front arms and I bite her forearm and then she lets me go and runs to the bed and jumps on it and I jump on her and we roll around and she hits her flat hand on the side of my open jaws and I can't catch her hand to bite it and we both growl and it's so much fun!!!


• Kmup! = Come up.  This is Mama in the morning when she's fed me and let me out for a pee and then she goes back to bed.  Then I am allowed to get up on the bed with her and Dada and we all nap a little more together.  It's a happy, warm, sleepy family.

You know, I guesss if I think about it, everytime Mama talks silly to me, something pretty awesome happens.  So maybe it's not so bad...

By the way, I've decided to reveal my true identity, so become my friend on Facebook!  My name is PDog Chocolate Lab.

Lots of licks and woofs,

 

 

Puppy Dog

Hello from Puppy Dog - I want to play!

Hello Friends!

OMG I am sooooooo bored!

Mama and Dada are giving me two different pills in my peanut butter, so I am feeling a lot better. 

I want to play!

And Dogette is staying with us this week, so I have a playmate!

But Mama and Dada won't let me.  They only let us out into the garden for a little while, there have been NO walks, and Mama keeps asking me to go back to bed and "rest".

Because we don't have anything to do, and we're tired of chewing my toys, Dogette and I are starting to get a bit tetchy with each other.  She actually had the cheek to tell me, when I was chewing my bunny that, if I moved my head to the side, I'd break through the toy skin faster!  I told her it was my toy, thank you very much, and I know how to chew it and maybe I don't want to get through the skin faster because if I don't get to the stuffing straight away, the toy will last longer and she didn't think of that, did she, so there!  She told me I was being a wiseass and I told her she was being a bitch and she said that she thought coming here was going to be like a mini-vacation with lots of tug of wars and ball chasing and growlyfighting and now I was just being so boring she might as well be at home because I was sore and sick and I couldn't move a lot.  I told her that she shouldn't have bloody well bit me then!

There was a very, very quiet pause.

Then she said oh, hell NO, I didn't just say that and I said hell, yes, I totally did and what was she going to do about it and she said that she just might bite me again and I told her my Mama was right there and she'd probably send Dogette home.  Dogette said that she'd be happy to go home where she had much better toys than I have.  I told asked her if her stuff is so much better than mine, why does she always want to lie on my cushion and she said maybe it's because it smells of me and she started to cry and ran into the bedroom.

I felt really bad.

So I went into the bedroom, slowly, and walked up to her.  First she turned her head away so I waited and lowered my head.  Then she turned her head around a little way and I gave her nose a little lick and she gave me a little lick and then everything was OK again.

I do love her, but I also figured I better just make up with her because that bitch got fang, if you know what I mean.

Lots of licks and woofs,

 

 

Puppy Dog

Hello from Puppy Dog - Dogette's chew toy

Hello Friends

Mama is sick and so am I.  Dogette has fangs, and she sure knows how to use 'em.  She sunk hers into my shoulder pretty good.

Mama gave me medicine and put hot compresses on me, so I felt better yesterday and Dogette and I ran around and played a bit.

That was a BIG mistake.

When I woke up this morning I felt doggone awful.  I was really sore and it hurt to put my weight on my front left leg.  I've spent all day on my cushion and Dogette is really irritated with me because she's bored out of her mind.  She went into my den and took out some toys to chew, but she said it got old pretty quickly.

Then I heard Mama call the vet and then Dada went out and, when he came back, he gave me a new pill.  They think I don't know when there's a pill inside the blob of peanut butter, but I do.  I just take them because I am a good boy.

I don't know what that pill was, but my shoulder hurts less.  And I am also suddenly reeeeally tired.  So I am sorry to be rude, but I am going to go back to my cushion and have another nap.

Yawn.

Night night.

Lots of licks and woofs,

 

 

Puppy Dog.

Hello from Puppy Dog - OUCH!

Hello Friends...

Sniff!

I am sorry but this is going to be short post today.

Dogette bit me!  SHE BIT ME!

Talk about a bad house guest!

We were in the kitchen and Dada was going to give us treats and I stepped in front of her and next thing I know - FANG BANG!

I am a gentleman so of course I didn't snap back.

But it took Mama and Dada hours and hours and hours to find my open wound (you just can't get the staff these days!) and then they put sticky stuff on it.

Today it started to get very sore and I was moving very slowly.

Then Mama took me to the man who pokes me.  He's a nice man and he smells of lots of other dogs but - goddammit! - he always pokes me!

He made a lady shave my fur off... AGAIN!  Then I could smell my boo boo and the ooze coming out of it.  

But he also gave Mama pills which she gave me with peanut butter and I feel a little bit better.

But I'm still sulking.

And I am NOT talking to Dogette.

Bitch.

Too tired and sore for licks and woofs,

 

 

Puppy Dog

Hello from Puppy Dog - Dogette is coming!

Hello Friends!

My girlfriend, Dogette, is coming to day tomorrow! Her daddy has to go away and so she's coming to live with me!

We are going to have such fun, like we always do:

• When Mama gives us a bone each, we'll both drop ours, go over the other's and fight over it



• When Dada is on a work conference call, we'll have growly fights



• We'll pull in different directions whenever we get taken for a walk



• We'll both wolf down our dinner and then run to see if the other one has any food left we can steal



• We'll both jump up on the bed in the morning and take over all the space so Mama and Dada end up curled in little balls



• We'll run round and round the garden and bark until Mama has to come outside and tell us to shush



• Even though we'd normally be well behaved when getting treats, because there are two of us we'll almost bite off Mama's fingers when she gives them to us



• We'll both refuse to settle down and go to sleep



• We'll both bark and growl at the Postman, like a pack of rabid wolves

It's gonna be off the hook, BABY!

Lots of licks and woofs,

Puppy Dog 

Hello from Puppy Dog - Vicious fly!

Hello Mama's friends!

Today I had to defend my den from a vicious fly!

It was in the kitchen buzzing around and being very dangerous!

I had to jump and turn quickly and run and sometimes do all three at the same time!

I was snapping my jaws and panting and working really hard to catch that little flying beastie!

Then I turned around and Dada was standing in the kitchen doorway laughing his head off and saying something about wishing he'd had a camera.

Why was he laughing? Defending the den is serious business!

Hairless Apes are soooo weird sometimes...

Lots of licks and woofs,

Puppy Dog

Hello From Puppy Dog - Green sweater lady

Hello Mama's friends!

The other day, a Green Sweater Lady came to our house. She seemed nice and I smelled lots of dogs on her. She's part of a big pack - I picked up two chiauaus, a cattle dog and a golden retriever. So I decided I could trust her.

She knelt down next to my bed and started petting me while she was chatting to Mama. I was a bit shaky and nervous so I started licking her to make sure that she knew I was her friend. I'm very clever that way...

Green Sweater Lady started rubbing me and it felt a bit funny. It wasn't like normal petting. She found the place I hurt on my right leg and I jumped and growled at her.

But she was nice and made sweet noises so I went back to sit with her. She kept stroking me quite hard and Mama seemed fine with it so I decided to submit and I lay on my back.

Then I started to realize that it felt quite nice and I got a bit tired and kept yawning. The Green Sweater Lady rubbed my leg and it actually felt better.

Then, just when I was really enjoying it, the Green Sweater Lady went away.

I've asked Mama for her to come back but she said something about me being the most spoilt dog in the world and I don't know if I'll see the Green Sweater Lady again...

Lots of love and woofs,

Puppy Dog