Hello from Puppy Dog: Why am I a Bad Dog?

Hello Friends,

Today has gone downhill. We had a nice walk in the park, Mama and me, but now she is ignoring me. We've been home for an hour and she hasn't scratched my head or invited me up onto the couch or even said a word to me.

Mama has different names for me and I think today's name is "Bad Dog."

We went to visit my girlfriend, Dogette. Mummy let me out of the back of the car and asked me to go into Dogette's house. But there were lots of nice smells and I needed a pee and I saw a cat and I ran after it a bit. Cats are evil and they get what they deserve. But I got into Dogette's house eventually after Mama yelled a lot... so why am I a Bad Dog?

When we got inside I found a bone on the floor so I took it and sat quietly chewing it the whole time we were there. I was sitting in the corner not causing any trouble.... so why am I a Bad Dog?

When Mama said it was time to leave I thought I could take the bone home with me. I found it, I was chewing it, it was my bone. Mama tried to make me drop it, but it was my bone. Mama tried to take it out of my mouth, but it was my bone. So I reacted like any self-respecting dog defending his food would do... I growled at her. I mean, it's only fair to give the Hairless Apes a warning when they are causing trouble, isn't it? So why am I a Bad Dog?

Mama and I struggled for a while and then she cheated. She stuck her fingers down my throat so I had to let the bone go. If she's the cheat, why am I a Bad Dog?

This sucks.

I'm going to my cushion to take a nap.

Lots of licks and woofs,

Puppy Dog.

Hello from Puppy Dog: Bad Daddy

Hello Again!

Lots of news from me today!

My Daddy sometimes tells a story (usually when there are other Hairless Apes over for dinner and they have had a lot of wine) about when he was a baby.

His Mommy went shopping and walked to the shop - they do that in England (Daddy even says they don't really drive SUVs! weird!). Anyway, I'm getting distracted.

So my Daddy's Mommy (I guess I can call her my Granny) took him to the shop in the pram and she left him outside while she went in to buy a few things. They did that kind of thing in those days.

Granny paid for her stuff, got her two bags - one in each hand - and walked home... without my Daddy!

My Daddy says he remembers people talking to him when he was in the pram.

His Mommy got home and unpacked the shopping and had that nagging feeling that she'd forgotten something. She ran back to the shop and Daddy was still in his pram, absolutely fine.

My Daddy says he teases his Mommy about forgetting him.

But now my Mommy says he can't do that anymore.

That's because of what happened today.

Daddy and Mommy were both working from home so we went for a nice walk through the park and then to the coffee shop. They tied me up outside like they always do and went in to what Mommy calls "her daily fix". They were chatting as they came out and I noticed that Mommy came over to me but Daddy walked the other way.

I saw him walk away from us, then stop at the end of the block because red hand on the traffic light was telling him he couldn't walk, and then he looked around for Mommy, looked confused and then turned around and saw us both.

My Daddy had forgotten about me and was walking home without me!!!!

I got my revenge.

When he came over to unhook me from where I was tied up I jumped away and started running up the street and he had to chase me and he spilled his coffee.

And while he was out at a meeting this afternoon and Mommy went to the office, I emptied out the trash can in his office to get at a cookie wrapper in the bottom.

Yeah, Daddy! So there!

Gonna forget me now? Huh? Huh? Gonna forget me now?

Lots of licks and woofs,

Puppy Dog.

Hello from Puppy Dog: Quick sniff

Hello everybody!

You know, my Mommy doesn't have fur like me. She puts different furs on all the time.

Sometimes she wears soft and cuddly ones, like the red ones she wears at night, and I snuggle up to her on the couch.

Sometimes I lick her furs after she's eaten because she's dropped crumbs... especially after she's had toast. I looooooove toast.

This morning she was changing furs, bending over to get something out of a drawer and I checked her out, like I often do, with a quick sniff.

I made sure my nose was clean and wet, so I don't know why she yelped.

I mean, all the other bitches know that quick sniff is a compliment... sheesh!

Lots of licks and woofs,

Puppy Dog

Hello from Puppy Dog: Bath Time

Hello Friends, this is Puppy Dog.

Today Mama and Dada took me to a big park, and there was a lake. There were duckies on the lake and they quacked at me and swam away. They were quacking at me to chase them. Mama and Dada didn't seem to understand, but I knew what they were saying - I speak fluent Duckie.

So I chased them and it was all muddy at the edge of the lake.

I came back and shook myself off next to Dada to show him how I can get all the water off but he just yelled something at Mama about "a bath".

When we got home Mama laid out my special big towel in the bathroom. Then she did something awful - she picked me up and put me in the water! She rubbed me with some disgusting stuff and then rinsed it off.

She told me to get out and, thinking back, maybe she meant get onto my big towel but how was I supposed to know?

I shook myself off in the hallway and she yelled at me. So I thought I better go somewhere else and I shook myself off in the guest room. This time Mama was yelling and was coming at me with the towel so I figured that wasn't the right place either so I ran past her and shook myself off in her bedroom.

Now Mama is muttering and making herself a potato chip sandwich and pouring a glass of wine and the sun hasn't even set so I think I better just go lay on my bed.

Lots of licks and woofs,

Puppy Dog.