That's Life - Best and Worst times to fart

Sometimes my mind wanders, and I was was thinking today - when is the absolute best and worst time to fart?

The worst:

• When you're sitting on a man's happy stick in the middle of rumpy pumpy
• When you're having a massage
• In a job interview
• In an elevator, unless it's just before you get off
• When you are in a neighboring stall to a colleague you've just said hello to as you walked into the restroom
• During the first dance at your wedding
• In a sauna
• In a long line for the restroom at a concert
• When you're in Downward Facing Dog in a yoga class
• When you are in a one on one meeting with your boss
• At a meeting with your Nutritionist, because you will then have a ten minute conversation about what exactly in your diet is causing flatulence and you will never, ever be allowed to eat pasta ever again

The best:

• When your husband is drunk and gets into bed with that look on his face
• When you are alone in the car
• In a jacuzzi
• In your husband's closet, and then close the door
• When you are walking by yourself with your dog in the park, far away from anyone
• Just after your husband did - he can't complain then, can he?
• When your silly dog is sniffing your butt

I have to stop and open the front door - I swear to God! - Puppy Dog just got inspired and farted.

Comments

[Debineezer]

Under "best" you forgot "Silently under the covers when you've had a HARD day with the puppies." I figure they've got a little gas warfare coming.

[Itty Bitty Crazy]

You are sooooo right.