Diary of an Ex-Employee - Day "I've lost count"
Friday, October 30, 2009 at 5:31PM 
My dear Fellow-Blogger-Friend, Activeleisure, posted recently about potential Halloween costumes - either dressing up as an employed person, or going out in what she calls "pajamattire" as her unemployed self.
Now being unemployed for longer than I dare to count, I really sympathize with her.
Yesterday I went out to see a friend who was in pain. I went to the donut shop and then to her house. We had a nice visit, and I came home, doing some errands at local stores along the way. It was only at about 7pm that I realized that I hadn't been wearing a bra all day.
And today I was at the coffee shop and looked down at my shoes - I was wearing open birkenstock sandals with socks.
IN.
PUBLIC.
At least they were black, not white.
As for my "pajamattire," the only reason I got dressed today is because my favorite PJs walked downstairs to the washing machine by themselves, and I had to take the hint.
Like my fellow Ex-Employee, ActiveLeisure, my Halloween this year is all about staying home.
I've been invited to a killer party, where a lot of my ex-colleagues will be.
Actually, now that I think about it, I'm not sure if I want to spend the entire evening smiling widely and talking about how I'm just fine, thanks, and that the job market is picking up, really!
Thank God for my 10 week old puppy, because I can't leave her alone at home for more than 2 hours at a time, so she makes a good excuse for non-attendance.
I actually do have to stay home with Puppy Girl and try to keep her calm with the constant sound of people just outside. Puppy Dog is sure to bark like a wolf on crack cocaine, so I need to be here to keep the dogs from imploding.
The last thing I need is small people (a size where Puppy Dog would think: "Yeah, I can take you") in scary masks at the door, so I've done what I can to keep the marauding candy hordes from coming a-knocking.
The Amazon Fresh food delivery boxes have been piled into a lime green barrier, I've put a table outside with the candy in buckets and there are big signs on the door explaining that I have nervous dogs and, for the children who can't read long words, written in letters 30 inches high (I'm not kidding):
"SH!"
If it wasn't so rainy where I live, I'd put the candy out on the sidewalk.
What's the Halloween equivalent of "Bah Humbug?"
Reader Comments (5)
As you know.... I'm sooo there with you! And, if I had a nickel for every day I realized I'd left my house without a bra on, I might not need a new job! (not that this is a good thing......)
Oh honey, birks and socks aren't an umemployed thing. They're a goofy Seattle thing. I'm not saying you're not bit...um...unmotivated, but you did a local thing with those.
For me, they are a I'm-in-my-laziest-out-of-the-world thing. The day I buy and wear crocs, I'm three days from suicide.
I did just obtain a pair of fleece-lined Crocs, but they're house shoes. They look ridiculous, however they are recommended by the podiatrist for this purpose. I will go to Starbucks in them some day b/c I'm not paying attention.
I ***HATE*** to admit this, but I was looking for some clogs to leave at the back door for when I take Puppy Girl out to pee, and saw some fur lined crocs that looked viable.
However, it's a matter of principle.
I will never own crocs.
I've held firm on Ugg boots, and crocs must also remain on the blacklist for, in spite of my ratty unemployed bed hair, my wobbly fat and my unpedicured toenails, no part of me should ever look as ugly as a croc.
Just say NO.
But, goddammit, the Crocs Tilda and Gretel clogs look really good...