He Said She Said - Halloween Candy
Wednesday, October 21, 2009 at 12:09PM 
"WHY DID YOU EAT MY CHOCOLATE?" she yelled.
"WHAT?" he yelled back, walking into the kitchen.
"My chocolate."
"What chocolate?"
"The Babe Ruth. You know I only like the Babe Ruths! I found the wrapper!"
"Oh, you mean the Star Bar!"
"What?"
"It's the same as a chocolate bar called Star Bar in England."
"Never had it. Don't care. Why did you eat one?"
"Well, I wanted to taste it."
"Hmmmph!"
"OK, honey," he said, getting irritated. "First of all, we are talking about an inch square piece of chocolate. Second, why did you buy such a big bag of candy? Third, I thought you specifically bought a pack of chocolates you didn't like. Fourth, you shouldn't have opened that bag of Halloween candy anyway!"
"First of all, nyah nyah nyah. Second of all, we were in Costco and we both agreed to get the candy. Third of all, I did think that I didn't like the chocolate, till I tried them and found I do like chocolate-covered peanuts, caramel, and nougat confusingly named after an iconic baseball player. Fourth of all, you try not opening a huge bag of chocolate when you are sleep deprived, you've given up smoking, the baby is chewing your shoes and you need coffee and a chocolate before you kick her across the room!"
"You wouldn't!" he gasped.
"No," she said. "Of course I wouldn't. Because I had chocolate to soothe me. So there! Now stop eating the Babe Ruths! They're the only ones I like!"
"I ONLY ATE ONE!"
"OK fine. Just don't eat anymore."
"Keep this up, and I am going to buy you cigarettes and make you stand outside in the rain till you become nice again."
"I was never nice."
"Oh yeah. Right."
"You're shit outta luck. And we're married. And we're catholic. So you're stuck with me."
"I'm going to play my video game now," he said. "I may be some time."
"Here," she said, holding up a bite-sized Snickers, "have a chocolate."
Reader Comments (3)
Your husband is now living with Miss BittyShrew. Did you stop smoking?
The only way I can get my hands on something I want eat at my house is to hide some of it from hubby! I just tuck away a few pieces of the candy I want or it could possibly dissappear before I get any of it! I just relocate some to a place that hubby won't ever go... like say, the laundry room??!! That way I can guarantee he won't eat them all before I get to them..
Either that or when I finally do go to get a piece.. there will only be one left .....sort of like the last scoop of ice cream!
http://thehubbydiaries.wordpress.com/2009/10/01/did-you-take-the-last-fill-in-the-blank/
Yes, Debineezer, I have given up smoking. GAH!
Michelle, I so sympathize! And yes, the laundry is a great place to hide things from hubby, as is the cupboard where you keep cleaning supplies, extra toilet rolls, extra kitchen rolls, or the bills!