Hell is other people - Tourist hater

There's a tourist tour in Seattle called The Duck. It's an amphibious vehicle which rumbles around the sights of the city then splooshes ungainfully into the lake to give riders a view of treasures such as the houseboat from When Harry Met Sally.

The tour has a certain charm. Its schtick is to play loud music and have the drivers change from one ludicrous hat to another and tell silly jokes between spouting random facts about the surroundings. The Duck is an open vehicle so you can hear the drivers clearly as it rumbles by, encouraging their charges to look to the left or raise their arms as YMCA blares forth.

A few weeks ago I was downtown waiting for the bus when I heard the telltale baddoom baddoom of the Duck's music keeping time with a similar noise from it's engine. Then, right next to me, a teenage boy starts pulling zap signs at the tourists and yelling at them to fuck off out of his city. The tourists were looking over at him as if he was mildly insane.

"What are you doing?" I asked him.

"They should FUCK OFF!" he yelled, gesturing at them again.

"Why? They're tourists. They're guests in our city."

"I don't want them here! FUCK OFF!" he yelled again.

"They bring money and jobs to Seattle," I tried to explain. "You need to understand the interconnectedness of things."

"I have a job! I don't need them!"

"What about just having good manners?" I said, trying another tack. "They're our guests."

"I don't care! FUCK OFF!" he gestured at them again.

I gave up, in classic passive aggressive style:  "Well, we'll have to agree to disagree," I said, wishing the damn traffic lights would change so the Duck could get away from this vile child.

I was really annoyed and embarrassed and was considering shouting some kind of apology, on behalf of the city of Seattle, to the tourists.

But the vile child started yelling again.

And that's when an African American woman walked over, positioned herself between the vile child and his line of sight to the Duck and shut him up with "WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM?"

It was classic.

The boy went slinking off. But he'll probably do it again another day, little shit that he is.

Because hell is other people.

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