Hell is Other People - Networking

 

Yes, it’s time for me to rant again.  Today, it’s about networking.

Do you know why there are so many courses, books and training opportunities around networking?

BECAUSE PEOPLE ARE STUPID AND DON’T KNOW HOW TO DO IT!

And when I say stupid, I don’t mean that these are dumb people.  No, these are highly skilled people, who have worked in a trade, have business acumen or a major artistic talent.  These are qualified people, who have excellent knowledge and are experts in their field.  These are high achieving people, who manage teams, command high fees and have climbed the ladder of success.

These are people who should know better.

And yet they have no idea how to treat other people well, have no idea that networking is mutually beneficial, and have no fucking manners.

Let’s start with treating people well. 

If you are introduced to someone through a connection, the first question to ask yourself is:  Do I trust and respect the person who made this introduction?  If the answer is yes, you are supposed to work on the assumption that the person making the introduction is doing so with positive intent, and would never introduce you to someone who was a loser or who would be a drain on your precious time. 

If you are making an introduction, the first question to ask yourself is: Do these people I am introducing both represent a good reflection of me?  This is because both of them will be thinking of you when they meet/talk, and be judging you by whether they think the introduction is worth their time.

I choose to treat people well. 

I choose to network strategically. 

If I make an introduction it is only because I trust both parties involved. 

What pisses me off is when I find out someone doesn't reciprocate.

You don’t trust me, and so you don’t trust the person I’m trying to connect you with.  And so you delay, or outright reject, the introduction.  That tells me that our relationship is not as strong as I thought it was.  And you know what else it tells me? 

It tells me I CAN’T TRUST YOU!

You are hereby officially demoted on my list of networking contacts.  You’ll never know that, and you may not care, but you can suck it, anyway.

Next, networking is mutually beneficial.

I can’t tell you the number of times I have made an introduction and one party thinks they are doing a huge favor to the other. 

Are you kidding me?  Who do you think you are? 

If an 80 year old can learn from a 2 year old (and, trust me, they can), you can friggin’ get something out of the meeting that I set you up on, otherwise I wouldn’t have set it up in the first place. 

And it’s up to YOU to make sure you get something out of it, even if it’s just the chance to express your opinions and advice, and therefore have the opportunity to think through what you hear yourself saying.

You may have read this post, about the smack down I got when I made an introduction recently.  The person punching me in the gut works for a well-respected national company.  She’s in a relatively senior position within one department.  She’s close to one executive, and this is the only really senior person she’s worked for.

The person I was introducing her to works for a global company that is a powerhouse in its field.  In a previous career, she worked for a politician.  She has since worked for 2 senior executives in this global, massive, powerhouse company that has penetration in every home in the Western world.

Yet person one rejected the opportunity to talk to person two, and person one absolutely believed that she was the Alpha in this meeting.

Are you out of your friggin MIND?  

You work for a smaller company.  You work for a smaller executive.  Your work is mostly internal.

She works for a massive company.  She works for an executive who manages millions and millions of dollars.  Her work is seen by vendors and partners from all over the world.

So who the FUCK died and made you Queen?  

 Unbelievable.

Last, but certainly not least, have some manners. 

I don’t care if you can shoot off an email these days rather than hand-write a thank you note.  I don't care if you can look at your phone screen, see who's calling and choose not to answer.  I don’t care if you can tolerate issuing evites and allowing people to forward them to their friends, who you have never met, and yet have to entertain, with no notice, in your home. 

Manners are fundamental to an effectively functioning society, and should not die.

If you tell me about something you need, and I then take the time to think through my contacts, choose someone for you and then make the connection, have the common decency to goddamn well follow up. 

When I see the person I’ve connected you with, and I thank him or her for responding to my request, and agreeing to meet with you, the one thing I do NOT want to hear is:

“Oh, he hasn’t got back to me yet.”

Are you completely unaware of how to behave within a working context? 

Are you really this unprofessional?

I will NEVER help you, EVER again.

Hell is other people. 

To read more in the Hell is Other People series, click the Tag link below or the Category link on the left.