He Said She Said - Shopping
Saturday, February 27, 2010 at 4:51PM 
They were trying out a new grocery store they'd never been to before. He was picking out vegetables and, when he looked up to see where she was, she'd disappeared.
He looked around, and found her in the candy section, standing look up at 5 foot long plastic cylinders filled with brightly colored jelly beans, M&M's and other mysterious things. Next to her were square plastic vats of various chocolate-nut combinations: double-dipped peanuts, chocolate covered almonds, peanut clusters.
"Do you want something from here?" he asked.
"No," she said. "Just breathe..."
"Breathe?"
"Yes, take a deep breath, and smell it," she said.
"Ah," he said, sucking air through his nose.
"You see?" she said, smiling. "This is like an olfactory Disneyland - it's the smell of the happiest place on earth!"
They kept walking and, as always, he turned around and found she'd wandered off. He found her standing in front of the magazine rack, looking at things like Style and Vogue. Tina Fey was on the cover of the latter. She was, as he'd phrase it "the thinking man's crumpet*."
"That's just wrong," he said.
"What is?"
"Tina Fey all glammed up on the cover of Vogue."
"What's wrong about it? She's a lovely woman. She looks beautiful."
"She's not supposed to look beautiful!" he said. "She's supposed to be our geeky girl, the female Clark Kent. Seeing her like this... it's like seeing your sister naked."
They were standing in front of the fish counter. He turned to her and pointed the index finger of his right hand diagonally at the ground, sticking his right leg out and shaking his booty every so slightly.
"What are you---" she said, and then she heard it: an instrumental version of Staying Alive was the current in-store muzak track. She laughed, stepped up to him, hugged him and kissed him softly.
"I love you, you crazy bear" she said.
"Well thank God for that!" he said, and hugged her back.
* British slang for a hot woman.
To read more in the He Said She Said series, click here.
Reader Comments (2)
Not sure how you did it but you made the supermarket sound romantic...I usually just plow through as fast as I can to get my coffee and half and half and get out!
@A Vapid Blonde
I was in a really shitty mood - see previous post - and we'd had a bust up in the morning. So he was shopping and I was wondering around with my bottom lip dragging on the floor and he was trying to cheer me up. He's a keeper, I know that for sure.