Diary of an Ex-employee - Day 120.0

Today I had to send a message to a friend saying I couldn't meet her because I am sick.  

I have a stomach thing.  You don't want details.

Anyway, she replied to me:

Well, at least you don't have to take a sick day!  Unemployed humor.

And that got me thinking... about unemployed humor.

So here we go:

"Hey, at least you don't have to go to work on the day after Labor day when you are hungover!"

"Hey, at least you're saving on hair products!"

"Hey, you don't have to make an excuse to leave the meeting room to fart!"

"Hey, at least you can improve your Facebook Lexulous skills!"

"Hey, does your drycleaner still recognize you?"

"Hey, guess you never thought you have to actually drink that cheap ass wine some guest bought to a BBQ, did you?"

"Hey, do you really think that you can speak your dog's language?  Seriously?  Does spending that much time with him really give you that skill?  Uh, does he talk back?"

"Hey - your skin looks great.  Guess what they say about getting 12 hours sleep a night is true, huh?"

"Hey, did you say you follow 14 blogs now?"

"Hey, your Twitter updates are great.  Uh, there's a lot of them but they're all really, uh... interesting."

"Hey - how come the barman knows your name? And what is your 'usual'?"