He Said She Said - Watching trashy movies
Saturday, August 29, 2009 at 12:22PM 
He was watching House Bunny, a movie she'd already seen, and recommended as trashy, fun, silly no-brain hour and a half of fun.
"She's going to make the geek sorority over, isn't she?" he asked.
"Just watch." she said.
He kept watching.
"They're going to throw a killer party and get all the rush girls to come, aren't they?" he asked.
"Just watch!" she said.
He watched for a few more minutes.
"How did they get the money to set up a volcano in their back yard?" he asked.
"It doesn't matter. It's magic. Whatever. Just watch." she said.
There were a few more minutes of just the sound of the movie. Then...
"The geek girls are becoming bitches, like the sorority they hated, aren't they?" he asked.
"Yes! Now shhh!" she said.
About ten minutes passed.
"So there's going to be one of those confrontations where someone has to make an emotional speech, isn't there?" he asked.
"OH MY GOD! This isn't Shakespeare! Just enjoy the tight asses and perky boobs and fake blonde hair and the silliness of it all! JUST WATCH!"
"But it's so obvious!"
"EVERY TIME YOU ASK A SILLY QUESTION OR MAKE A PREDICTION I AM GOING TO REWIND AND MAKE YOU WATCH IT AGAIN! EVERY. FRIKIN'. TIME!"
"Everything is going to work out OK in the end, isn't it?"
"How come something life threatening always happens on the spaceship? Why does the rope always snap on the outside-the-ship-walky-thingy? How come the bad alien always manages to shoot through the protective shields? How come all the aliens are humanoid, or lizardy? How is it possible that all alien cultures speak English? HUH? HUH? HOW COME?"
"OK! OK!" he squealed. "I'll just watch!"
"Andgo buy me a latte!" she screeched.
"Yes, Honey. I'll go buy you a latte, OK? As soon as they save the sorority, as soon as she gets her sweet boyfriend back, as soon as the bitch sorority get their comeuppance and as soon as the movie shows them having their celebratory party with some cute little hip hop song."
"AAAAAAAAAAARGH!"
Reader Comments (5)
The rope does NOT always snap on an EVA. Sometimes there IS no rope! Did you fall asleep during Defying Gravity?
The other aliens have better technology than humans because they started space travel earlier than we did. How else would they get to our universe? That's why they can get through the shields. Elementary, my dear Watson.
Aliens are humanoid because ACTORS need to play them. And they are lizardy because wusses like you are afraid of snakes and so you get SCARED, like you're supposed to be. Otherwise, how would we know the difference between good aliens and bad aliens? It makes perfect sense!
Alien culture DON'T speak English! We have babelfishes in our ears! Geez! Dont you read?
Why do blonde bimbos dye their hair but not their eyebrows?
Why do women wear shoes they can't walk in?
Why do women give themselves fake boobs that don't jiggle?
Huh? Huh?
Methinks Fluffy Bear is cruising for an alien ass-bruising. Just saying . . .
Left arm, one punch. Sadly, no bruise...
Yes there bloody well WAS a bruise!
Hey Fluffy Bear,
Here are some things I've noticed with respect to your comments... mine are preceded by "MB" (minibear)
FB: The rope does NOT always snap on an EVA. Sometimes there IS no rope! Did you fall asleep during Defying Gravity?
MB: Rope, forecefields, tractor beams...whatever...things do tend to give way at inopportune moments. The reaction of course leads to those iconic and heroic "Kirksmanship" moments that we all remember.
FB:The other aliens have better technology than humans because they started space travel earlier than we did. How else would they get to our universe? That's why they can get through the shields. Elementary, my dear Watson.
MB: Yes ! After all, if we were the badasses of the universe, we'd be the predators munching the aliens like pacmen. It would be interesting though to have a movie done in this perspective where we are the badasses eating hordes of Geckos in some alien spaceship.
FB:
Aliens are humanoid because ACTORS need to play them. And they are lizardy because wusses like you are afraid of snakes and so you get SCARED, like you're supposed to be. Otherwise, how would we know the difference between good aliens and bad aliens? It makes perfect sense!
MB: Now with CG, insectoids are the bomb ! Much worse than a lizard is a giant cockroach !!
FB: Alien culture DON'T speak English! We have babelfishes in our ears! Geez! Dont you read?
MB: Yes, they should really have subtitles...
FB: Why do blonde bimbos dye their hair but not their eyebrows?
MB: The budget ran out with the killer breast impants !
FB: Why do women wear shoes they can't walk in?
MB: Seems the movie chicks walk, run, fight, kick just fine in them. Mere mortal women need sensible shoes though so they can do normal things.
FB: Why do women give themselves fake boobs that don't jiggle?
MB: True. I see this as a redesign opportunity and my life's work :-)
Huh? Huh?
MB: Yep ! Yep !