9 to 5 - TLAs

Three Letter Acronyms are a big part of the corporate culture where I work.

My colleague and friend - let's call him Bill - and I decided we would come up with our own TLA's to deal with the horror - the horror! the horror! - of corporate life.

SYF - Suburban Yawn Factor. Pronounced "sif" which is fun cos it sounds like a shortened version of syphillis. Refers to those boring people who have to tell boring stories about their suburban life e.g. taking the kids to soccer/baseball/whatever, the agony over choosing a school, the awful third nanny about to be replaced with the fourth.

CBS - Corporate Bullshit.

WPI = Workplace Inappropriate e.g. that hug that lasts too long, that overly personal story, that sexist joke.

RFD = Red Flag Day as in "Don't fuck with me, I'm having an RFD."

WCPM = West Coast Positivity Mafia. These are the people from California and other West coast states who insist on being positive all the time. Key phrases:

• "I don't think we should discuss politics at work" = For God's sake don't make me actually express an opinion
• "Let's agree to disagree" = I think you're a FuckWit
• "Well that's interesting" = That sucks
• "Thank you for making that excellent point" = Shut the fuck up

MSU = Make Shit Up, usually to be found when someone spews statistics in a meeting.

MCTZ = Meeting Cancellation Twilight Zone. This is when you have a full day of meetings and everyone cancels.

DHC = Disturbingly Hot Colleague. Often leads to events which are WPI.

ABA = Another Bloody Acronym