Dear Diary - Pleasuring Mr Ben and Mr Jerry
Sunday, October 25, 2009 at 9:04AM 
Dear Diary,
I may have had a bit of an oopsie last night.
You know I spoke about my 1441 goal? Well, the weight loss goal is still there, I just haven't done the plan yet, and I may have had a food porn moment and pleasured Mr Ben and Mr Jerry last night.
It's not completely my fault.
Oh, don't sneer at me!
It isn't!
OK, so my friends Barbra and June cooked me dinner and came over to celebrate my birthday the other night. I can't leave the house for more than two hours because of little miss Puppy Girl, so they graciously transferred the party to my house at the last minute. Unfortunately, Dolly, scheduled to bring one of her delectable desserts, couldn't come, so I did what any lazy woman would do - I bought Ben and Jerry's ice cream.
But, you see, dear Diary, I didn't know what flavors they'd like so I had to get four different kinds... with an extra Chunky Monkey in case someone liked that too much and ate it all. I had to avoid myself being rude and snatching the carton from their hands, you see.
So anyway, I had a lot of ice cream left over after the dinner.
Then Kathy and Will invited me over for dinner last night, to eat the most amazing freshly made risotto, and so I took 4 of the ice cream cartons (yes, I left my extra Chunky Monkey at home) to their house. So I had ice cream at their house. Some Chunky Monkey - of course - some Pistachio Pistachio and some kind of yummy caramel Haagen Dasz thing Kathy had.
So I come home with a little bit of the Chunky Monkey No. 1 left.
And it's late, and it takes me half an hour to get the Media Center PC to play my "The Proposal" DVD so, next thing you know, it's 11:30 and I'm watching Sandra Bullock and that-guy-with-the-abs-whose-name-I-never-remember falling in love on a flickering screen and I'm struggling to stay awake.
So I think:
"I'll just finish that little bit of Chunky Monkey No. 1 left at the bottom of the carton and get a bit of a sugar rush to stay awake. Because you should either have popcorn or ice cream while watching a movie, and popcorn makes me cough."
Perfectly logical, right?
But here's the thing, Diary. Ice cream is very cold.
Too obvious? Wait.
See, here's the report I kept getting from my tongue:
[Insert digital voice here. Your choice: Stephen Hawking's wheelchair, Majel Barrett-Roddenberry as the Star Trek Computer or Hal in 2001.]
Flavor receptors frozen.
Unable to confirm pleasure experience.
Please repeat spooning procedure.
Who can ignore an official status report?
And next thing you know I've eaten the small amount of leftover Chunky Monkey No. 1 and the whole 1 pint carton of Chunky Monkey No. 2.
Diary!
Don't look at me like that!
You don't know how good that stuff tastes! It has banananiness, and chocolate and walnuts.
Oh, bugger off. I'm ignoring you now.
Reader Comments (1)
While I recognize the central focus on ice cream, I hear the stuffed mushrooms were divine. As were the deviled eggs. Well, that's what I heard, anyhow . . . [g]