Hell is other people - Jane Joyce
Saturday, October 17, 2009 at 10:02AM 
Yes, I have three kids. My first is 13 and is finding where she fits in at school. You know how that is. My second is doing fine, far as I can tell. My third is kinda stressy. You know, the youngest, not the strongest. He is also the only boy, so it's hard. We try to help him and make sure he has man time with his daddy but it's hard because my husband works so hard and I'm the one home all day and so he is surrounded by three females and oh, we had such a sad time last year when our dog died. We had her for 13 years. We were at the vet and I was just crying and crying. So silly I know but I just remembered all the great times we had together you know? She would play with the kids and jump up on the bed and I remember her chewing my shoes when she was a puppy and she used to swim in the lake with the kids and she really looked after my youngest when he wanted to just be boisterous and go outside and play. But he can also play with our little rabbit. Yes, we have a bunny. He's the cutest little thing. Brown and soft and cuddly. Our neighbor has one of those rabbits that are white with red eyes. I don't like those, they're creepy. Mostly it just stays in the garden and the mud room but my second daughter likes to take it up to her room and I told her, I said, just be careful of all those wires up there, honey. And of course with us and the neighbor having rabbits we have to be so careful with our fences because just the tiniest hole and they'll get out...
Ittybittycrazy
There must be a secret society of loud women with nasal voices, and they are out to get me. I've been identified and targeted as a hostile. They are therefore seeking me out and annoying the living shit out of me.
That first one on the plane was Agent 001.
At the pool today, Agent 002 was on her cell phone.
We were at the over 18 pool. Now why, I ask you, dear reader, with tears in my eyes, would a hotel even have an over 18 pool? And why would people use it?
What it is about children at a pool that might irritate someone?
Could it be... might it possibly... can we humbly propose that it is because of the NOISE?
And so sitting with your feet in the pool talking loudly on your cell phone, that's rude, isn't it, wrinkly-leathered-faced-too-much-sun lady?
Fluffy Bear had to do something about this one and so, he asked her, very politely, to talk more softly. Apparently she moderated her voice. I didn't witness it... I'd buggered off to go and lie in the hammock on the grass, out of hearing range.
Later on, back at the pool, Agent 003.
Part of some work junket, she found a colleague she knew and decided to make small talk.
This time it was all about her car ("It's so smooth you just don't know what speed you're going"), getting a speeding ticket on the way to the hotel and how her husband was playing the highway game with some guy.
"You know the one," she said. "Where you overtake him and then he overtakes you and you are pretty much driving on your long journey together.
"So my husband was keeping pace with him and, when we got the ticket, he said the guy in the Merc had totally drawn him into the trap!"
Yeah, right.
Then it was all about her daughter and how she'd lost her job and was learning to live cheaply - cancelled her cable, eating differently, and now blogging on how to live life spending less.
Finally!
Something I'd WANT to overhear.
I waited to hear the blog URL.
"It's Callie-something-cheap-something...
"No, it's cheapliving-something..."
She didn't remember it.
Reader Comments (5)
The only thing worse than that is sitting in a middle seat between two seriously overweight people. You have my sympathy.
That is a LOT of signs. You have to wonder why they bothered.
I simply hate it when I'm near anyone like that. It makes me nuts & hubby always says "Relax." But, when someone is obnoxiously loud and boring it grates me like a cheese grater. That, and screaming kids. Because it's usually the two of us traveling, I swear some huge overweight person always sits next to me so that all I can do is just sit there, with no arm rests. I always take my iPod and earphones so I don't have to talk to them.
Our uncle that died recently, hated it so much that he made up a list of questions with his answers, typed it up, and made copies. He'd carry them with him when he traveled or went skiing. If anyone attempted a conversation with him, he just handed them the sheet. He was such a character!
Yes, Hell is other people...
Your uncle is a genius and is receiving his reward in heaven, I am sure of it.
He is in a very quiet, restful place, where anyone who tries to talk above a certain decibel level instantly loses their voice for 4 hours, and anyone who talks to a stranger gets teleported to hell for five minutes.
OMG - until you said that Agent 001 had a daughter I was sure you were talking about a woman in my church!! A group of us go out to lunch together after services on Sunday - and no one sits by her - but she manages to drown out all other conversation!! I actually spoke to her about it once and she said "I know I do that but I live alone and never get to talk to anyone." I felt compassion for her - but only until the next group conversation or rather non-conversation!!