Depression and ECT 21

I've suffered from depression since I was a pre-teen. In 2012 I got very sick, becoming suicidal. In 2013 I decided to try ElectroConvulsive Therapy. The "Depression" series of blog posts chronicles that process.

To start the Depression series at the beginning, click here: http://ittybittycrazy.squarespace.com/imported-data/2013/12/29/depression-1.html
#depression
#ECT

I got a slightly weird phone call today.

I take part in a health program at work that offers free telephone coaching. My coach's boss called me, saying that she had expressed concerns about me based on things I had said in our last coaching call. He wanted to check that I was OK.

I explained that I am undergoing ECT and am under close supervision of a psychiatrist and we had an amicable conversation.

I thought back to my coaching call and I just don't know what I could have said that would have made my coach worry. I didn't think I mentioned any of the psychological stuff. Did I come across as a nutball?

I remember talking about the fact that I had totally fallen off the wagon over the festive season, that I was going to start using my LoseIt app again and that I am taking a challenge to do yoga every day in February. I also talked about being addicted to sugar and trying to manage that by having dark chocolate in the house. I don't remember saying anything at all controversial. In spite of myself, is my crazy showing?

And, more worrying still, does this mean that my crazy is showing in other interactions without my realizing it?

Or did I tell her about ECT and just have no memory of doing so?

Also, why did she talk to her boss about me, and why did he call me? Are they covering themselves against potential law suits? I find it hard to believe that someone who has never met me, and has simply spoken to me on the phone a few times about diet and exercise, genuinely cares about my welfare.

The boss told me that he was just checking in to see if they could help in any way, but it sounded like bullshit to me. He was doing that thing people do when they take too long and say too much when explaining themselves. It's an overcompensation in an attempt to disguise their not revealing their true motives.

It's unlikely, but I also can't help but wonder if this gets reported to my employer in some way. My boss and boss's boss know what's going on with me, but we haven't run it formally past HR.

Unsettling.

THE SUN STOPPED SHINING FOR ME IS ALL. THE WHOLE STORY IS: I AM SAD. I AM SAD ALL THE TIME AND THE SADNESS IS SO HEAVY THAT I CAN'T GET AWAY FROM IT. NOT EVER.
NINA LACOUR

To start the Depression series at the beginning, click here: http://ittybittycrazy.squarespace.com/imported-data/2013/12/29/depression-1.html