Being a Doggy Mama - Canine Complaint Call Center

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Thank you for calling the Canine Complaint Call Center.  

Your call is important to us.   Please stay on the line while we direct you to our state of the art system, which will make sure you receive impeccable service, dynamically customized to our needs and delivering up to the minute information.

 

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Please tell us how we can help you.  

You will hear a list of issues, so please have a pen ready to write down the number - or numbers - that correspond to your issue.  

You are welcome to choose more than one.  

If they are separate, please put a zero between them.  If they are connected, simply use your phone keypad to type in each letter, one after the other, preferably in the order of your perception of the priority of the issues.

 

Press 1 to repeat these instructions.

 

Press 2 to pause to go and get a pen and paper.  

 

Press 3 to continue.

  

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Press 1 for.  Issues with feces or urine.

 

Press 2 for.  Issues with your dog eating their food or drinking their water.

 

Press 3 for.  Issues with drooling.

 

Press 4 for.  Issues with your dog affecting your meal times.

 

Press 5 for.  Issues with barking.

 

Press 6 for.  Issues with excessive agression or timidity.

 

Press 7 for.  Issues with breeding.

 

Press 8 for.  Issues with training.

 

Press 9 for.  Any other issue.

 

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You pressed.  

 

Four and.  

 

Three.  

 

Is this correct?  Press 1 for yes and 2 for no.

  

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Good.  If I understand you correctly, you have issues with.

 

Your dog drooling.

 

And.

 

Also with.

 

Your dog's behaviour affecting your meal times.  

 

Can you tell me a little more about these two issues?

  

First, what breed is your dog?  Please use the letters on your phone keypad to spell out the breed name.

  

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I think you indicated.  

 

Labrador.  Is that correct?  Press 1 for yes and 2 for no.

 

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Drooling and.

 

Labradors.  Labradors do not tend to drool excessively.  

 

Does your dog have a medical condition that makes him or her drool?  Press 1 for yes and 2 for no.

 

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Good.

 

Is the drooling related to your dog seeing you eat?  Press 1 for yes and 2 for no.

 

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OK.

 

Does your dog sit in a special place, away from it's humans, when you eat?  Press 1 for yes and 2 for no.

 

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It is a good idea to train your dog to sit in a specific place, away from the diners, while the humans in the house are eating.

  

Does your dog sit right in front of you, or right next to you, as you eat?  Press 1 for yes and 2 for no.

 

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That is not a good idea.

  

Does your dog drool on your feet?  Press 1 for yes and 2 for no.

 

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That is not a good idea.  That is not a good idea.

 

Have you, or do you, give your dog food from your plate while you are eating?  Press 1 for yes and 2 for no.

 

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That is not a good idea.  That is not a good idea.  That is not a good idea.

  

Do you allow your dog to lick your plate after you have finished eating?  Press 1 for yes and 2 for no.

 

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You are a lost cause.  Good luck with that.  You will now be disconnected.

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To read the rest in this series, click the Doggy Mama tag below.

 

Comments

[pet food]

That makes me laugh! The questions and answers at first have sense but then in the last part it makes you hopeless.