Hell is Other People - Two-wheeled Bitch

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yesterday, I was driving Fluffy Bear to a networking thingy.  I am on these three lane, one way streets that characterize our city.

 

I turned right from a one way street onto another one way street.

 

Let's call the first street Smith and the second street Jones.  Smith runs from West to East, one way.  Jones runs from South to North, one way.  I am at the traffic light on Smith, on the West side.

So I turn right from Smith onto Jones.  Because I would soon have to turn left, I started to change lanes onto the left side.

 

Then I heard someone yell HEY at me.  

 

I look in my rear view mirror and I see her.  A small woman on a bike, dressed in grey long shorts and a brown jacket.

 

I immediately move to the right, opened my window and yelled to her that I am sorry.  It was a genuine apology, I assure you I wasn't being rude.

 

I get to the next traffic light.  I stop.

 

Let me back-track a little.  Indulge me, dear Reader.

 

There was no cyclist behind me at the traffic light on Smith, also waiting to turn right.  I had turned from Smith to Jones at the start of the green light, which means there was no way she had come from traffic behind me at the traffic light on Jones... the lights for that road wouldn't have changed in time.

 

So you know where she came from, don't you?  

 

She had bloody well come down Smith street against the one way rules, and turned left onto Jones.  

 

Now let me side track a little.  

 

I don't hate all cyclists.  The people I hate are the ones who break the rules.  I have seen cyclists who wear the right stuff so they can be seen and who stop at traffic lights and who don't ride five feet from the sidewalk so that a car can't get past them.  It's the agressive ones I hate, who think they are allowed to make up their own rules of the road.

 

OK, let's go back to real time.  

 

So there we are, at the traffic light.  She comes up next to me, hits the roof of the car and starts yelling at me.  

 

OK, now I'm pissed.

 

I roll down my window and yell:  

 

I SAID I WAS SORRY!

 

 

Now, this is the best part.

 

She crosses in front of the car while the light is still red for us both, flips me off, rides across 4 (count them, FOUR) lanes to the other side of the street, makes a half-hearted attempt to look like she's riding on the pedestrian crossing, and RUNS A RED LIGHT to continue her journey. 

 

I fucking swear to God, if there handn't been cars on the lanes on my right, I would've accelerated like a banshee as soon as the lights turned green, crossed all four lanes like Jensen bloody Button and I would've pulled up a quarter of a block in front of her and I would've got out of the car and I would've run back to her and told her to get the motherfuck off her bike and listen to me while I told her that she was a total little bitchfuckwitarsewipe and that she fucking made the rules up for her own convenience and that cyclists like her were selfish and hypocritical and thought they were so bollocking better than the rest of us because of their hippy dippy bullshit about cycling rather than driving but that when you do whatever the fuck you want and don't follow the rules of a being on vechicle which you crapping well are and the two wheels are pretty clear indication of that then you shouldn't expect to fucking well being treated like a vehicle by us drivers and that not only do we not see see you wankers when you are riding on a rainy day and being too stupid to wear any flourescent stuff or an orange vest then, not only do I not see you but, when I see you pull a manoeuver like that, I FANTASIZE ABOUT HITTING YOU!

 

And then I'd walk away, get back in my car, put it in reverse, back it up reeeeeally fast to within 6 inches of her skinny arse, scare the living crap out of her and drive away.

 

But, of course, this is America, and the little bitch would probably be packing heat.

 

 

 

 

 

 

To read more in the Hell is Other People series, click the Tag link below or the Category link on the left.  

 

You might like:

• Reading about the last time a sanctimonious fuckwit bitch on a bicycle chose to yell at me
• A non-cyclist story, which is about revolting children

 

 

 

Comments

[SingleMan]

Man,

and here i was thinking all you need is a little more love. :)

With your dog bitching and traffic bitching, is it time for an extended holiday?

[Ittybittycrazy]

Dearest Singleman

You may be right.

Then again, this may be pretty normal behavior because, deep down, deep deeeeeep down, under my genuine love of communicating and connecting with other people, under my skills, loyalty and ethos which ensures I consistently deliver very high quality work and under the deepest layer of my profound love for my husband and furkids lies a total bitch