Alien Encounters - Washing and Drying

These are imaginary conversations with an Alien new to the planet. I have never met one, been abducted or probed (although an ex-boyfriend did once ask, and that was the end of THAT).

Alien: So, let me get this straight... You get wet, then cover your body with a cleaning liquid, when you get wet again to wash it off?

Me: Yes.

Alien: Then you dry yourself with a big cloth?

Me: Yes.

Alien: Then you make sure the cloth gets dry?

Me: Yup.

Alien: Then you do it again the next day?

Me: Right.

Alien: Then, when the cloth has been used a few times, you put the cloth in a box with a different cleaning liquid, the box fills with water and moves the cloth around with the cleaning liquid, then the box fills with water again and washes off the cleaning liquid?

Me: YES. We've been through this. I showed you.

Alien: Yes, yes, but I want to make sure I understand.

Me: OK, OK.

Alien: So then you put the cloth in another box which spins it around and makes it hot and takes out the water.?

Me: YES!

Alien: Then you use the cloth again when you make yourself wet?

Me: What is so difficult to understand?

Alien: This seems like a lot of work, and uses your precious water supplies on your planet.

Me: I know that.

Alien: Why don't you use an Hygeniconizer? I can show you. You get in, it switches on, you wait five minutes, and you're clean.

Me: We don't have those.

Alien: I can give you one.

Me: Does it have side effects for humans?

Alien: Hmmm... it might give you cancer after you use it for a few Earth years.

Me: I'll stick with our way, thanks.

Alien: Um... we're working on the cancer thing...

Me: Good for you. Would you like to try a shower?

Alien: Are there side effects?

Me: Well, you get wet.

Alien: AARGH! Disgusting!

Me: OK, OK, let's each clean ourselves the way we're used to.

Alien: FINE.

This is the first post in this series, but, once there are others, you'll be able to hit the Tag link below, or the Category link on the left to read more.