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Tuesday
Jul062010

Puppy Talk - Ribs

 

 

Puppy Girl:  Mmmmmm... what is that?

Puppy Dog:  I smell it too.  We must investigate!

Puppy Girl:  It's Dada.  He's outside.  MEAT!  But the door is closed!  

Puppy Dog:  Damn!

Puppy Girl:  I don't understand!  This is the food place!  We are in the food place!  How can Dada be making meat!

Puppy Dog:  It's the Other Hot Cave.

Puppy Girl:  You're not making sense!  We are standing next to the Hot Cave!  And it's not hot!  And there's no smell from it!

Puppy Dog:  Pay attention!  I said the Other Hot Cave!  It's outside.  Sometimes Dada makes meat on it.  

Puppy Girl:  WE HAVE TO GET OUTSIDE!  I WANT THE MEAT!

Puppy Dog:  Well, unless you plan to grow an opposable thumb, you're out of luck.

Puppy Girl:  A spose-sum?  What's a spose-sum?

Puppy Dog:  [Sighs]  Never mind.

Puppy Girl:  WAIT!  He's coming!

Puppy Dog:  Stand back!  He's opening the door!

Puppy Girl:  Dada?  Can I have some meat?  Dada, can I have some meat?  Dada, can I have some---

Puppy Dog:  You're wasting your breath.  We have to wait till the Hairless Apes eat.

Puppy Girl:  But it smells sooooooo good!  I WANT SOME!  I WANT SOME!

Puppy Dog:  Listen, Kid.  You're wasting your breath.  Shut up.  Stick with me.  We'll get some.

Puppy Girl:  But I want some noooooooow.

Puppy Dog:  Follow me.

Puppy Girl:  Where are we going?

Puppy Dog:  I'll sit in front of Dada, and you sit in front of Mama.

Puppy Girl:  Check!  Oh, it smells soooo---

Puppy Dog:  FOCUS!

Puppy Girl:  OK! OK!  What now?

Puppy Dog:  Now look cute and sad and hungry.

Puppy Girl:  I can't do all of those things!  I'm just going to grab one from Mama's plate!  It's right here!  If I just lean forward a little...

Puppy Dog:  NO!  DON'T!

Puppy Girl:  But I---

Puppy Dog:  If you do that, you'll get NOTHING!  Just listen to me!

Puppy Girl:  OK! OK!

Puppy Dog:  Look cute.  And sad.  And hungry.

Puppy Girl:  How?  That's too many things!

Puppy Dog:  Just think about how much you love Mama, then think about how sad you were when you had to leave your litter, then think about how much you want the meat.

Puppy Girl:  [Mumbling]  I love you, Mama.  Aw, I miss my first Mama!  I want meeeeeeeat...

Puppy Dog:  Good, good.  Now think those thoughts again.  And again.

Puppy Girl:  I love you, Mama.  I miss my first Mama.  I want meeeeat...  I love you, Mama.  I miss my first Mama.  I want meeeeeat.... I love you, Mama.  I miss my first Mama.  I want meeeeeat... I love you--- GLURB!

Puppy Dog:  GLURB!  See?  Told you it works.

Puppy Girl:  Meat!  Yum!  Yum!  Yum!  OK, now do we do it again.

Puppy Dog:  Nope.  That's all you get.

Puppy Girl:  But---

Puppy Dog:  Mama is taking the food bowls to the food place.  It's over.

Puppy Girl:  But---

Puppy Dog:  Trust me, Kid.  It's over.

Puppy Girl:  Aw!  Still, that was goooood meeeeeat....  Maybe if I try looking up at Mama in the food place...  What was it again?  I love you first Mama.  I miss meat.  I---

Puppy Dog:  [Sighing]  Kid, you gotta lot to learn.

 

To read more in the Puppy Talk series, click here.


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