My week in tweets - 25 May 2010
Sunday, May 23, 2010 at 7:29PM 
Goddamn sunshine making me feel guilty. Bugger off hotgasball! I'm staying on the couch!
No semi naked Uglies in Hot Yoga today, thank God. Been told Hot Yoga is a pick up deal. Not if you see the men at mine!
Based on the ad, I wouldn't want to be friends with the pretentious bastards who are “Michelob Ultra people”
Heh heh heh! http://reflectionof.me/steve-jobs-and-bill-gates-jokes
Margaritaville Frozen Concoction Maker #crapyoureallydontneed
Hubby is about to roast veggies http://tweetphoto.com/23717003
The view from the loo http://tweetphoto.com/23716306
"Your knickers headed South so fast you'd have thought they had their own rail card!" Gene Hunt, Ashes to Ashes
"What's that?" "It’s cocktail hour!" "Can I get a drink that doesn't look like it's minced its way over from Mayfair?" Gene Hunt
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/bp-calls-in-costners-26m-vacuum-cleaners-to-mop-up-huge-oil-spill-1979976.html
I swear to God the MINUTE I (finally!) hit the couch, the dogs ask to go out to pee. Flashback to my mother snapping: "I JUST sat down!"
At coffee shop 2 http://tweetphoto.com/23527510
At coffee shop. Baby crying cos she wants to keep walking http://tweetphoto.com/23527362
Young Yeller #LesserBooks
The Mediocre Gadsby #LesserBooks
Gulliver's Gardening #LesserBooks
Sybwell #LesserBooks
Oliver Straight #LesserBooks
Realistic Expectations #lesserbooks
As a South African I feel justified in saying that this insidious thinly veiled Racism rampant in US (Rand Paul, Tea Parties) is repulsive
Macaroni cheese with no cheese is just baked macaroni, even if it's free, Cafeteria!
Prostitution would be legalized and controlled #ifiruledtheworld
Hummers would be banned #ifiruledtheworld
Birth Control would be free #ifiruledtheworld
Gay Marriage would be legal #ifiruledtheworld
Dammit! Someone's in MY toilet stall at work! WTF? Oh great. I sit down in another stall and NOW she flushes/finishes. Typical!
Bus conversation: "Did you know that in some European countries you just put yr garbage bag out in the street and in the morning it's gone?"
Bus conversation: "What day is today? Is it.... wait..."
Bus conversation: "His dad caught him out and asked him what he was doing." "Dude, what IS that?" "Yeah, he went on his Facebook!"
Note to self: Being late means you get to ride on the bus with kids who talk so loud you can hear them over yr iPod. Tomorrow, be on time!
Sooooooo late for work it's not even funny. Sheeee-yeeeet.
3D TV #crapyoureallydontneed
Goddammit Calorie Counter! I want a Baby Ruth bar! Shut up! Just shhhh! Zip it! Zzzzzzip it! Sh! Sh! Sh!
When FBear talks about Twilight New Moon he never says the name he just says "Mope. Mope. Mope."
Oh God they're already advertising the next Twilight movie. We saw the last one @ adult cinema and I had to drink 4 cocktails to get thru it
There are 5.5 million American citizens whose parents don't have papers.
Hey politicians who tout family values, why support an Immigration Policy that breaks families up?
5th Grader asks Michelle Obama if her mom is going to be taken away cos she doesn't have papers
Stop spellchecking me iPhone! I WANT to type "caca poopoo" because THAT is what the weather IS
Did you know what the month of May is? http://tweetphoto.com/23066329
More badly raised pitbulls on Kiro 7 news giving the breed a bad name. Pitts can be such lovely dogs
Heads roll at Fox 13 News for refusing to run Police abuse footage that was offered to them 1st by a person who was under contract to them
FBear: Did Jaden Smith drop the Pinkett because he saw his mother's career wasn't going anywhere?
Dear Hollywood: tell good stories, make good movies. Fuck 3D
My BFF and I had the whole Rocky Horror Picture Show memorized and sang it daily at Varsity
OMG! I did a Safety Dance Flash Mob in a Mall! And I've done a #Glee Flash Mob. Now there's a Safety Dance Flash Mob ON Glee! Woooo
Note to self: Yelling "Expedite the process!" at your puppy from the back door doesn't make her pee any faster
STILL can't see the telly. http://tweetphoto.com/23023267
I can't see #Glee! http://tweetphoto.com/23022918
#Glee. Am I the only one who wants to see Neil Patrick Harris and Will kiss?
#Glee quotes: "Then... I was introduced to Jesus. He was my Honduran social worker."
My doctor friend on #House: "Vicadin? Really? That's a crappy drug. There are much better ones available..."
Dramatic episode of #House trying to win Emmy is annoying. Haven't laughed once.
Nobody retweets me! I'm going to go and sit in the garden now, and eat worms
Computer Acronyms for Old People @ http://crabbyoldfart.wordpress.com/2010/05/17/computer-acronyms-for-old%c2%a0people
I know I've shared this before but indulge a proud mama http://tweetphoto.com/22955002
Note to self: Never. Delete. Anything.
iPhone shuffle just threw up A Tender Moment by Billy Joel. Never knew this song existed. It's sweet.
Ex-ca-hu-hu-hu-huse ME, Seattle weather! I had AN OUTFIT PLANNED for today. WTF with this rain?
My Barista on being single in Seattle: "Craigslist Close Encounters? Yeah, OF THE THIRD KIND"
"When do U evacuate yr bowels?" "When I have to." "I'm sorry I don't rent to hippies." Sheldon showing Leonard the apartment. #Big Bang Theory
How prostitutes are made early. http://tweetphoto.com/22898666
God save me from Lycra clad suburbanite WASPS http://tweetphoto.com/22898556
The best hand drier in the multiverse http://tweetphoto.com/22898492
"Thor, could you give this lady a tour of the vending machines?" "Of course. They're lovely this time of year. The Skittles are in bloom." #Nurse Jackie
"We're all Arizonans now!" Sarah Palin. Hope you're carrying your papers then, Sarah
"It is Gods finger which wrote the Constitution!" Glenn Beck. I could counter with something about giving U the finger but I can't be arsed
FBear on Sarah Palin: "She's like a high pitched version of the teacher from Charlie Brown."
My gay friends can't put their childbirth on Mummy 2's health insurance because they aren't recognized as a couple. Pisses me off
It's 10:30 and I am eating my lunch sandwich. Yep, it's gonna be a three latte kinda day...
Dear BP: Now that you're not using the Top Hat, could you fly it to Iceland and drop it over the volcano?
There's no way Barney is a guy. Look at those hips for chrissake!
Dear Pale Skinny Jogger Dude: Put your shirt on. It's not that hot, and neither are you
Women are angels. Take our wings and we still fly... On broomsticks. We're flexible that way.
Reader Comments (2)
I know I am dumb, but I can't make twitter work. I can't find anyone. What is the point? I don;t get it.
Sign on, follow me, then take a look at some of the people I follow.
You'll want to follow Stephen Fry, ThatFunnyJew, funnyguy, hambers.
Then just log on whenever you feel like it (if you have an iphone, Tweetdeck is the way to go) and see what people have to say.
I also follow a lot of news feeds, so I get the latest news.