My week in tweets - 16 May 2010

http://twitter.com/ittybittycrazy

Dear Pale Skinny Jogger Dude: Put your shirt on. It's not that hot, and neither are you

Women are angels. Take our wings and we still fly... On broomsticks. We're flexible that way.

They were watching a movie. Her: You don't get storms like that in London. Him: You do... in movies

If you put a box of 12 chocolate donuts in front of me right now, I'd eat them all

Kurt's Dad: "Look, I don't know what that song was about, but fine don't sing like you just sung." Glee

Sue Sylvester: "I checked out of this conversation about a minute ago so good luck with your troubles and I'm gonna remember never to stop and talk to students again because this has been a colossal waste of my time."  Glee

Seriously, do cheerleaders in the US really walk around school in their skimpy uniforms? In the UK that would just make you lame

Dentist didn't numb me enough today. While getting a new crown I felt like the princess who slept on the pea

Marshall: "Goodbye" Mary: "You owe me $9 from lunch last week, so don't get shot."  In Plain Sight

You can't choose your family. You have some choice over yr Facebook friends. But yr tweeps are ALL people you choose to like

Overheard: So... Tell me about you... Where are you from?#flirtingatwork

Tell me what I'm being measured on, and I'll tell you what I'll do#workplacerealities

This meeting would be a lot more interesting if the window washer swinging back and forth outside took his shirt off #meetingmadness

Whiteboarding duel in progress! #meetingmadness

Met 13 month old baby whose parents have taught her basic sign language. Babies can communicate that way B4 they can speak. Fascinating

Fluffy Bear, wanting to describe a guy on TV as superhuman, just called him an "ubermunch" :-)

Shit. I am staring at a blank screen with "140" in the corner with nothing funny to write. Tweeter's block!

Ittybittycrazy is particularly proud that she bought a shirt for a gay friend's birthday present and he liked it! My taste was good enough for a gay guy!

Him: Was that Guy Pierce? Wow, he's not trading off his looks anymore. Her: Yes, unfortunately...

Dear loud, sneezing, snorting and laughing lady two cubes over: I am going to chop you up and feed you to my dogs. That is all.

Have to attend a political Benefit tonight. Sigh. It's of no bloody benefit to me.

If I am with a man who's had an erection for 4 hours, there is no WAY I'm letting him seek medical help

Me: These flowers in everyone's yards are so pretty. I love Spring. FBear: Yes, it's all very Pandora. Me: You just ruined it!

I am dreaming my dog is made of Baby Ruths and I can take huge bites and his bits grow back and I can eat more the next day

Nothing can match the righteous indignation of a hormonally-fuelled teenage boy.

The dogs have been play fighting all day and are covered in each others' spit. They are literally slimeballs

Happy Town (ABC) is the new Twin Peaks. Except I miss Kyle McLaughlan

1 in 5 relationships now begins on an online dating site. I met Fluffy Bear in a chat room in 1998. Yep, we're early adopters

"Hey, I shot people I like more for less." Marshall R Gibbons, Justified, FX Channel

Bought a blouse even though we are poor as churchmice. On sale! It's not about what I spent, people! It's about what I SAVED!

"I know I don't seem like a warm and understanding guy, but this is my warm and understanding face." The Good Wife

"For God's sake, Wilson! You really do span the chasm from wishy to washy." House

iPod shuffle can really wake you up. Sade followed by a Bollywood groove! Hey Brain! SURPRISE!

Sigh. Woke up tired again this morning. The espresso machine at the office BETTER be working today or SOMEONE is going down! Grrrr

Our two dogs are literally chewing two ends of the same bone and growling at each other

If Kagan gets confirmed that will take the historical % of men on the Supreme Court from 97% to 96%.

Amazing what the bus can pull up next to and improve your day http://tweetphoto.com/21883232

Oh, bollocks! I've suddenly become one of those people who desperately wants a Twitter Celebrity to retweet them

Bedtime. To sleep, perchance to dream... Of calorie free donuts, good hair days & my boss actually managing to see what I'm capable of

I need some retail therapy. Sadly, my wallet will not comply.