Diary of an Ex-Employee - Day 132.0

 

I have hit the doldrums.

I am becalmed.

Oh sure, there are a few puffs of wind here and there.  An interview with an agency.  A networking contact at a company I am targeting happy to forward my resume directly to HR.  Et cetera.

But none of them feel like enough of a breeze to puff out my sails and give me real forward momentum.

All I want to do is: 

• sleep
• watch trash TV
• eat.

The other day I ate ice cream at 4pm.

So far I've done three major Change-inducing things women do in times like this.  

I'm a walking cliche.  No, I'm a couch-bound cliche.

1) Cut your hair

A women who changes her hair is changing her life.  Or trying to.

"Cut it off!" I shrieked at my hairdresser.

Lucky for me, like many women, my hairdresser is a lot more than just that.  She is my friend.

And so she refused.

I now have shorter hair, but I can still pull it into a small ponytail for those I-don't-give-a-shit or I-don't-have-style-time days.

2) Consult a Psychic

You may think this is total BS, and that's your right.  

But when a woman you ask about which job to take predicts your husband 6 months before you meet him, you sit up and take notice.  And no, it didn't help me find him.  Like a lot of predictions, you only remember it was foretold after it happens.  It's like the Back to the Future time paradox.

Anyway, I sent my request through her website, transferred money from my UK account and got my word document and voice file via email a few days later.

The prediction?

Hang tight, keep doing the good job-hunting stuff I've been doing - the opportunity is very close.  

But...

Keep a tight rein on that inner voice.  That negativity, that energy-sapping doubt.

Hmm.  Easier said than done.

3) Buy something you don't need

A handbag.

Why a handbag?  Well, because many women love them, including me, and they are the ultimate indulgence.  Men, think Bugatti Veyron.

And because it was on sale, of course!

And so, how is my lovely new purchase working out, you ask.  Uh, hello!  I'm not actually using it.

It's stored away very nicely, waiting for that new job.

Here's the logic: Last time I got a new job, I bought a handbag.  Expensive.  But on sale.  Of course.  So this time I figured I am being optimistic and positive and getting the handbag now because I am about to get a new job and so I'll use the handbag on my first day!

See?

Makes perfect sense.

Of course what I really should do is go to the gym.  Take a yoga class.  Center myself.

But the gym is so very, very far from my warm, comfortable, cosy couch.