Being a Doggy Mama - Dog-Owner Neighbor Etiquette
Monday, September 14, 2009 at 6:02PM 
Today I saw a message on a list I belong to from a woman whose next door neighbor's dog keeps pooping in her yard.
This completely amazed me.
How can someone allow this to happen?
Being a good Dog-Owner Neighbor is basic good manners. And it just isn't that hard.
First, to be a good Dog-Owner Neighbor, you need to have a fence.
When we rented the house we're in, there was no fence. Fluffy Bear duly enlisted the help of two friends, and off they went to the hardware store. They bought a roll of green wire fencing, and some poles. They came home, they opened beer, they got out the toolbox. There was some discussion, some cutting, some banging, and there you go.
There was a slight glitch when they didn't fence in front of some hedges and, beers in hand, in the middle of congratulating each other, they noticed Puppy Dog looking at them quizzically from next door's garden. He'd got out, and he didn't know how to get back in.
Another quick trip to the hardware store, some more cutting and banging, and the whole back yard was secured for about $150.
It's really that simple.
Second, barking.
Puppy Dog never gets beyond the fifth bark before he is cordially, but very firmly, invited to stop, come back into the house and retire to his bed, thank you very much.
Bill, a dear friend of ours, has a slightly more serious problem with Dogette, who has a piercing bark and can hear movement anywhere near her den through the front door. The postman has been chased down the street, barked and growled at, and the mail he put through the slot repeatedly ripped to shreds.
Bill bought a new mailbox that sits on the outside of the house and bought Dogette a shock collar. Now I know that there are other ways of training dogs to bark other than a shock collar, but Bill has some restrictions on his time that mean he can't give Dogette a lot of lessons.
The collar doesn't have to be on anymore. She just doesn't bark loudly - she makes soft growly noises instead.
Being a good Dog-Owner Neighbor isn't hard.
It's about the little things like remembering to take poop bags with you when you walk your dog around the neighborhood. It's about keeping your dog safe within the confines of your home. And it's about making sure your dog doesn't disturb the neighbors.
Anyone who can't do these simple things is an Asswipe.
Reader Comments (5)
A what collar?
If 'Bill' doesn't have enough time to look after his animal without resorting to torture then in the UK the RSPCA would happilly relieve him of it... There use is banned by UK Police, Army and Prison forces for dog training purposes. http://www.apbc.org.uk/article2.htm might suggest that the soft growly noises aren't a great sign that she is containing her behaviour either, but instead that she recognises each noise she used to bark at as something terrifying. Not cool.
Being a good Dog Owner isn't difficult either, it goes something like this. Stage one, decide if you have the time to spend treating your dog with the respect a living being deserves.
If you do, get a dog.
If you don't, don't.
On reflection, isn't pet torture the first stage to becoming a serial killer?
Before Ted's half eaten remains are discovered in Bill's freezer, maybe someone should have a word...
I'm just sayin'
As a matter of interest, does Bill waterboard Doggette if she poops in the house?
Oy vey. I have no defense or explanation except to say that we all raise our kids differently.