Diary of an Ex-Employee - Day 5.0

Someone, somewhere, dared to breathe out their revolting germs and, immune system compromised by stress, I caught their cold.

And so.... If I take a deep breath I pay homage to Darth Vader, if I talk it conjures up Patty and Selma Bouvier and if you had to desribe my dress style you'd say I'm dolled up like Ugly Betty from a parallel universe where she lives in a trailer park,doesn't brush her hair and wears her food-stained gown all day. And every few minutes my chest contracts, my throat heaves and I spew out something that should only ever be a special effect in a horror film.

At moments like these, the Couch is the best place to be. Cable TV offers endless entertainment options, you can slip into a little nap whenever you want, and there's a convenient coffee table to hold all the medicine, tissues, water, hot tea, orange juice, hot water bottle.

So no research or job sites or outplacement firms today.

Just couch.

And coughing.

And asking Fluffy Bear to bring me things. Every cloud... (hehe)