Stuff Female People Like - No. 9: Prequalifying Men

This series is inspired by the blog/book Stuff White People Like.

This entry is inspired by Healing Hands, a wonderful Massage Therapist who takes away my aches and pains.

9. Prequalifying Men

Single Female People have "A List". They don't tell the Single Male People they're dating, but they definitely talk it over with their other Female People friends.

The list can be anywhere on a scale from Kidding Around, through Vague Guideline With Room For Compromise, through to Ridiculously Rigid Requirments which will ensure the Single Female Person stays Single.

Items on the list are, of course, customized by each Single Female Person but there are shared criteria agreed upon with friends - usually in boozy bar brainstorming sessions. This might explain why some lists contain elements which may be a little bit unrealistic.

I have consulted various Single Female People I know, and here are some examples of items which are on their lists (please feel free to add your own in Comments on this post):

• A bathroom that is woman-friendly (i.e. clean)


• An annual income that puts him in the top tax bracket


• A house of his own


• A house of his own which is a WISE investment


• Living alone (i.e. no roommates, family, lodgers)


• A university degree


• Evidence that he is good with children


• Doesn't look at the bill at the end of the dinner - he just puts the card down


• Doesn't say cheesy things during sex like "Just be here - now..."


• Doesn't cry after sex


• Doesn't talk about ex-wife


• No kids from previous marriages


• Not prettier than me


• Knows how to put up shelves, BBQ, wire a plug, change a lightbulb


• Owns more than 20 books


• Doesn't pay for the extra special sports cable package


• No-one knows his name at his local bar


• No bible next to his bed


• Doesn't argue about the damn condom


• Likes dogs/cats/whatever pet the Female Person has as her pet


• Makes me laugh


• Can dance


• Doesn't burp or fart in front of me till we have had sex at least 10 times


• Goes down without being asked


• Doesn't push my shoulders to force me down there


• Doesn't call his mother more than once a week


• Doesn't shop at Walmart for clothes


• Keeps his porn well hidden


• Can cook


• Has a plant in his house that isn't dead


• Has more than 5 inches


• Smells good


• etc. etc. etc.