Workplace Personalities - The Triple S
Monday, March 30, 2009 at 9:14PM 
The three S'es stand for Short Shit Syndrome.
I know, I know, this isn't anything new. This phenomenon exists all over the world, and isn't restricted to the workplace.
The Short Shit is a man of limited stature who overcompensates with excessive aggression.
No matter what you do and how you do it, you're wrong. If you're right, you have to wait until they reiterate your proposal, thereby claiming it as their own bright idea.
Meetings are opportunities for confrontation.
Conversations are peppered with references to possessions that indicate prowess - sports car, boat, plane.
The tone is always one decibel away from that iconic army guy who yells at new recruits.
Every sentence is a verbal wrecking ball, tearing you down, smashing you to bits.
Picture an annoying terrier, barking incessantly. The dog is small but you know that those fucking things can latch onto any part of your anatomy they want to, clamp their jaws shut and never let go.
Key signs:
- Bad jokes
- Swearwords
- Loud voice
- Insulting terms directed at others
Catch phrase: ANYTHING SAID SLIGHTLY TOO LOUDLY.
Your Strategy: Placate, while imagining his mini-dick to make you feel better about it.
Their comeuppance: The only place that the Triple S is humbled is in a crowded elevator. Unless it's in Asia.
Never ever: Pat on the head
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Reader Comments (2)
You know, Boeing is full of these. You know the worst thing? They like to mark territory. That's right, they wander around with their morning coffee and pee on desks left and right. G-d forbid you're one of those dotted line folks. You've got multiple managers pissing on your desk, sometimes many times a day. Ah, the good old days.
The Desk Pisser. I see a new category coming on...