I am Woman - The Chick Flick Crying Trick

Sometimes, I can feel myself starting to get tired.

It's the mornings and evenings when it really hits. I feel heavy in the mornings, and struggle to get out of bed. Going to work seems like a chore even though, once I am there, I enjoy what I do. Once home from work, I don't have the energy to do anything social and I plonk down in front of TV, generally preferring to watch mind-numbing stuff.

Then something happens to really tip me over the edge. A bad incident at work, a misunderstanding with a friend or, as happened today, Puppy Dog being really sick and having to have a barrage of tests at the vet.

And then the crawling headache starts. It's like a demonic octopus-type creature is sitting in the middle of my back and it starts to stretch out its tentacles, sending an ache creeping between my shoulders, pain into my neck and throbbing across my temples. Finally the creature really takes hold, wrapping itself around my forehead in a tight, tight grip. All this comes with soupcon of sensitivity to bright light and a charming little nausea.

I only get these things about 4 or 5 times a year, but I've got better at spotting the signs early on, and taking a sick day. But lying in bed or on the couch watching daytime TV doesn't cut it.

There are five key elements to the cure:

1. Painkillers (obviously)
2. Couch
3. Very long, very hot shower
4. Lots of cups of tea
5. The Chick Flick

The Chick Flick (today it was Nights in Rodanthe) is not there to renew my faith in true love of the bonds of family. It is not there to make me feel empowered as a woman. It isn't even there to give me a chance to perv at the male lead.

It's there to make me cry.

There was a bit of a hitch today when a friend came to check on me in the middle of it, but luckily he arrived before the shower, the faded PJs and food-stained dressing gown, the red nose and bloodshot eyes and the clumps of soggy bits of kitchen roll. (I don't know why, but I never buy boxes of tissues.)

I think I need to have the catharsis of achieving suspension of disbelief and of having a good old wail at the trails and tribulations of others. Because, let's face it, my life is pretty good, and there is nothing in it that would make me actually want to turn on the waterworks. So I let actors, screenwriters and directors show me a situation that does warrant the boo-hoo-hoos, and I go at it.

Now, please note: the Chick Flick for the Crying Trick needs to be chosen carefully. It has to be well acted, and have a decent story. It has to be something I can relate to - where I could see myself in the shoes of the protagonist. And it has to be sad, but not too sad.

Terminally ill child? Too depressing. Gritty documentary about set somewhere hot and sticky? Too messy. Feelgood movie about a handicapped person overcoming adversity? Too corny. Death of a faithful dog? I want to cry, not kill myself. Old Yeller is out. Irritating overplayed-heartstring-tugger starring Tom Hanks? Puh-leeeeeez.

Here are some of the best examples of Chick Flicks for the Crying Trick:

• Terms of Endearment
• Fried Green Tomatoes
• The Notebook
• Beaches
• Thelma and Louise
• Steel Magnolias
• Postcards from the Edge
• Sophie's Choice
• The Hours

And here are some others that aren't chick flicks, but will do the trick:

• Away from Her
• In the Bedroom

Gay flicks that will do the trick:

• Longtime Companion
• Torch Song Trilogy
• Brokeback Mountain

Chick flicks I haven't seen held in reserve:

• Kramer vs. Kramer
• Coalminer's Daughter

I heartily recommend the Chick Flick Crying Trick... I already feel so much better.