Hell is other people - Your children are revolting
Monday, December 28, 2009 at 7:49PM 
The other day I was at the Video store with Fluffy Bear.
A father was in there with his two kids.
They were utterly revolting. I'm not kidding.
He was trying to discipline them, but his tone of voice had all the authority of Deputy Dawg.
It sent something like this:
Annoying Girl: "Dadeee! He's kicking me!"
Awful Boy: [Kick! Kick! Kick!]
Annoying Girl: "OW! Dadeee!"
Useless Father: "Now Bil-leeee... Don't doooo that."
Annoying Girl: "I want THIS one!"
Useless Father: "No... We already have one you chose, Cindy."
Awful Boy: [Kick! Kick! Kick!]
Annoying Girl: "Dadeeeee!"
Useless Father: "Now, Billy, I saaaaid to stop thaaaaat."
Annoying Boy: "I WANT MY SKITTLES!"
Useless Father: "Well, you won't haaaave Skittles because you are being naaaaaughteeee."
Annoying Boy: [Kick! Kick! Kick!]
Useless Father: "Now you kiiiiids go out and wait in the caaaaa-har. Go wait in the ca-haaaaaar."
I don't have to tell you - do I? - that the kids got their Skittles, and they didn't go out to the car.
As this went on - and it went on for over ten minutes - the rest of us in the video store started to catch each other's eye. We were raising eyebrows, making faces at each other. The atmosphere was very tense and I certainly couldn't concentrate on what movie to get. We were all marking time, wishing they would just leave.
Finally, the Useless Father managed to pay for the DVDs and candy and he herded the revolting children out of the door.
There was an audible collective sigh of relief.
"Well, I would've been whooped if I behaved like that!" said one woman.
"Oh my GOD! Thank God they're GONE!" said the video store guy.
"I would have been taken out of here with no DVDs and definitely no Skittles!" said Fluffy Bear. "Not that I would've ever behaved that way in the first place!"
"Me neither," said a man in a baseball hat. "Not if I wanted to live."
I was so tense by this time that I really felt I had to do something about this.
I went out of the store and up to the Useless Father. He saw me coming and I swear he tried to get into his car faster.
"Hi," I said. Then: "HELLO!" as he tried to ignore me.
"Hi," he mumbled.
"A friend of mine is a SuperNanny," I told him. It's true, by they way. "Her website is [URL deleted].com, if you're interested."
"No," he said, quickly. "No thank you," and he closed his door with a bang.
I went back into the video store and told them all what I'd done.
Someone cheered, and suddenly video store guy found a copy of a film we'd been looking for, which someone else (that it had been reserved for) hadn't collected.
I really think we all need to speak up when we encounter badly brought up kids negatively impacting our lives in public. After all, when we're retired, these revolting little fuckers will be running the country.
I don't blame the kids. Kids are kids. They'll push the boundaries if you let them, just like any small animal.
It's the parents who are the failure. A mother dog growls at her puppy and shakes it by the scruff of it's neck to teach it what it should and shouldn't do. Human parents have the same obligation.
Hell is other people.
Reader Comments (4)
Amen. I am SO with you on this.
I am in total agreement, but in all honesty, it's rare that I have the balls to say something. Most times, I'm truly afraid for my well-being if I say something. It's ironic how the parents will do NOTHING to prevent their children from behaving like buffoons, but the second you step in to say something to the parent, all of the sudden they grow a pair and start yelling at you.
And just so you know, if my child(ren) ever behaved like that, they would have their little asses dragged out to the car where they'd receive a good ass-whooping by me. (can't do it in public anymore, or people will call the police *sigh*) I only had to do that once, and my Son's been the perfect angel since! LOL He's now 12, but knows that mom is still mom, and he'll never be too old to get his ass beat by me! :-)
@CrabbyMcSlacker Thanks!
@Shelli I think parents become aggressive because they are being defensive. They know it's not the kids' fault, that it's theirs, and they are embarrassed and feel personally attacked. Which is all true.
But if we don't say something, they will keep letting their children behave that way in public. So, by using the "my friend is a SuperNanny" thing, along with my most condescending British accent and a simperingly nice tone, I conveyed the message in stupendous passive-aggressive fashion.
Because I'm a bitch like that.
I don't know a SuperNanny, nor do I have a British accent (although I could *try* one!). I guess I'm SOL. ;-)