Puppy Talk - Bathing etiquette

 

Puppy Dog:  You're wasting your time barking at the puppy gate.  She isn't coming out, and you aren't going in.

Puppy Girl:   How do you know?  Sometimes she come when I bark, so there.

Puppy Dog:  She's in the Water Room.  The hairless apes do stuff in there.  Can't you hear the hot rain?  And, trust me,  you don't want to go in there when the hot rain or the hot river flows.  Next thing you know, you're in the bath.

Puppy Girl:  The what?

Puppy Dog:  The BA-HA-HA-HARTH!

 Puppy Girl:  Why are you making a funny voice?

Puppy Dog:  Because the BATH is horrible.  They make you all wet and put smelly stuff on you and rub all over your body.  Oh wait - you have had a bath.  That time you pooped in your crate!

 Puppy Girl:  Hey! I couldn't help it.  I'm just a baby!

Puppy Dog:  Hmph!  Still disgusting.

Puppy Girl:  Well, you should know, from that time I pooped on your bed in your den!  HA HA!

Puppy Dog:  GRRRRRR!

Puppy Girl:  OK!  OK!  Let's just forget all that.  And anyway, I didn't mind it when Dada cleaned me.  It felt nice.

Puppy Dog:  What the hell are you?  Some kinda freak?  Dogs are not supposed to like baths!  The next time they try to put you in there, you wriggle, you whine, and you stand up without warning and SHAKE as hard as you can so you spray water in their face!

Puppy Girl:  Sounds like fun!

Puppy Dog: It is!

Puppy Girl:  OK!  I'll do it!

Puppy Dog:  Yeah, stick with me, Kid, I'll show you the ropes.