I've suffered from depression since I was a pre-teen. In 2012 I got very sick, becoming suicidal. In 2013 I decided to try ElectroConvulsive Therapy. The "Depression" series of blog posts chronicles that process.

To start the Depression series at the beginning, click here: http://ittybittycrazy.squarespace.com/imported-data/2013/12/29/depression-1.html
#depression
#ECT

I don't feel as good today. Having had a taste of feeling normal - neither too hot nor too cold, Miss Goldilocks - I now feel like something precious has been taken away from me.

The nurse in the recovery room said she had been my nurse at my first treatment, and that she had been off work since then, so there's been a gap since she saw me last. She said she could see a definite improvement in me. I felt very encouraged by that, but still depressed at not feeling as good as I did yesterday.

I'm starting to worry about getting this treatment finished. I'm scared that the doctors are going to say that I have to continue treatment into next month and that I'll have to take more time off work. The treatment is working - I can feel it - but the effects aren't sticking. It's like eating Ben and Jerry's ice cream - you feel like the flavor is almost on the tip of your tongue, but really tasting it eludes you. You never feel real satisfaction no matter how much you eat.

To start the Depression series at the beginning, click here: http://ittybittycrazy.squarespace.com/imported-data/2013/12/29/depression-1.html

#depression