I've suffered from depression since I was a pre-teen. In 2012 I got very sick, becoming suicidal. In 2013 I decided to try ElectroConvulsive Therapy. The "Depression" series of blog posts chronicles that process.
To start the Depression series at the beginning, click here: http://ittybittycrazy.squarespace.com/imported-data/2013/12/29/depression-1.html
#depression
#ECT
Talked to psychiatrist when I went for treatment today and, when she asked how my mood was improving, I explained that it was a little better, but not much. She asked how my memory issues were going and I told her that I had had a few forgetful moments but that, frankly, I considered the memory issues trivial. She suggested that we change from unilateral to bilateral treatment, which basically means that, instead of putting one electrode on the top of my head and another on the right side, they put one on the left side and one on the right side.
This means the whole brain gets zapped instead of just the right brain. They usually stimulate only the right side so that they can minimize effects on the left side of the brain, where memory is stored. By putting one electrode each side, the efficacy of the treatment potentially increases, but so do memory loss side effects.
As well as switching to bilateral, we decided to set up an office appointment to discuss weaning me off some of my meds.
In case I haven't explained it before, the psychiatrists take turns administering ECT. So she isn't my doctor. The appointment to discuss meds will, however, be with my assigned doctor.
As they got ready to send me off to sleep, the nurse put the bit on my chest. That's always a slightly disturbing moment. It's a brown plug type thing, and the part that goes into your mouth is about 3 inches by 5 inches, a trapezoid shape.
There were three anesthesiologists in the room. One was a student, and looked like a deer in headlights. He had an impressive jewfro.
Waking up seemed to take longer than usual. The nurse in the recovery room left me to my own devices for what seemed a long time. My jaw was aching. It felt like I had been grinding my teeth for hours and hours. Opening my mouth hurt. I explained to the nurse that I had a sore jaw and she offered me some oxy. It's bizarre to be offered something that you only ever hear of on TV in the context of drug abuse. I was in severe pain so said yes, and took the pill with some cranberry juice.
The nurse left me for about ten more minutes before approaching me again and getting me ready to walk back to the intake room. It was clear she was leaving me longer than she normally would to recover. When I got up to walk to the intake room, I was definitely more unsteady than I normally would be. I had to concentrate on walking and my balance. Bilateral zapping must be a bitch.
Back in the intake room I asked for more cranberry juice. They give it to you in little plastic cups with peel back covers. I have to admit I find it disturbing how much waste is generated in the hospital. Everything is packaged, wrapped and then thrown away after one use due to the need to keep things disinfected. There are full trash cans everywhere. If I worked in the hospital system I would want to run a project to see how one could maintain sterility while minimizing trash.
Fluffy Bear came to pick me up and I asked him if we could please go to the new ice cream shop near our house. My jaw hurt like hell, I was definitely the worse for wear after what seems to have been a more intense treatment, and I just wanted ice cream for breakfast. Childish, but that's how I felt. A few minutes later I was gingerly chewing a chocolate chocolate chip cookie and washing it down with chocolate ice cream. My jaw still hurt but it made me feel better. Ice cream is awesome stuff.
To start the Depression series at the beginning, click here: http://ittybittycrazy.squarespace.com/imported-data/2013/12/29/depression-1.html