I've suffered from depression since I was a pre-teen. In 2012 I got very sick, becoming suicidal. In 2013 I decided to try ElectroConvulsive Therapy. The "Depression" series of blog posts chronicles that process.

To start the Depression series at the beginning, click here: http://ittybittycrazy.squarespace.com/imported-data/2013/12/29/depression-1.html
#depression
#ECT

I woke up with a sore neck and shoulder on the right side. When I got up I realized my right butt cheek felt like I had been doing one sided squats yesterday.

Apart from neck and shoulder discomfort it was a relatively OK day until I went to yoga. There was another teacher on the mat next to me and she seemed to think that, because she is also a teacher, she could do whatever she wanted, irrespective of what the whole class was doing. Not only that, but she kept sighing audibly, like a porn soundtrack.

At the end of the class I asked her if she was likely to attend class again and, when she said yes, I asked her to not sigh so loudly. She got very defensive and I tried to explain why it was distracting: "You know when you're with someone who's snoring," I said, "and you don't know when the next snore is coming, but just as things quiet down and you start to relax to go back to sleep, there comes another loud snore."

She looked at me as if I was completely certifiable.

She kept defending herself vociferously until I finally looked her right in the eye and said "I'm not trying to hurt you." She was responding as if I was attacking her personally when all I was doing was asking her not to sigh loudly if she came to class again. I opened my body language up to her and made her see that I was not trying to go to battle here, I was just making a request.

It seemed to calm her down but I have to admit that I played the confrontation over and over in my mind and berated myself for approaching her in the first place. Why couldn't I just keep my mouth shut?

My brain began to spiral into self-recrimination, replaying the incident over and over, and pin point analysis of each thing said.

I had to take a Xanax on the way home.