In case you missed it...
This is a repost. This was originally posted Thursday, October 8, 2009 at 8:09PM. But the thing with blogs is, new people find them all the time, and who the hell has the time to search through all the crap I've written in the past? So, now and then, I'm gonna regurgitate some of it for you.
These post-its are not real. They are just in my head. I love my husband. Seriously.
Dear Fluffy Bear
My birthday is coming up.
You are a man.
Man = boy + geek.
Buying you a birthday present is pretty easy. It needs to be a toy, and it needs to be electronic. End of story.
As you know, I am a woman.
Woman = girl + sex bomb + mother + cleaner + philosopher + culture vulture + friend + confidant + fashionista + chef + karaoke queen + stand-up comedian + secretary + project manager + politician + taxi driver + yoga junkie + make up artist + skincare consultant + hairdresser + interior designer + real estate agent + OK let's just leave it here or I'll be here all night.
So here are a few pointers to help you choose my birthday present:
- Anything that can be used in the house by both of us --> Not a valid birthday present
- Anything that needs a charger, or you to "install" it --> Not a valid birthday present
- Anything that is considered "useful" --> Not a valid birthday present
- Anything that is involves us going to a nice store and you taking out your credit card --> You're getting warmer
- Anything that turns out to be EXACTLY what I dropped major hints about while watching TV --> You're pretty safe
- Anything small and shiny, that comes in a nice box --> Now you're talking
To read more in the Post-its of Wrath series, click here.