My husband, Fluffy Bear, is the Alpha Dog, which makes me the Beta Bitch.
He is away at the moment and, ever since he left, Puppy Dog has been misbehaving because, of course, I'm just the Beta - no need to pay her any respect.
Nothing major, just a low-grade evil, like:
- Constantly pulling on the leash - hard
- Not heeling when told
- Not coming when called
- Jumping out of the back of the SUV before being given permission to do so
- Having to be asked three times to sit before he listens, so I can put his food bowl down and give him permission to eat
- etc., etc., etc.
Today, we came back from a walk at a local park. He'd been pulling my arm off, ignoring commands and just generally being a little shit.
We pulled up in front of the house, and I parked the car. I gathered my stuff, got out and went round to the back. I opened up the boot (trunk) door of the SUV and, again, without pausing till he was told it was OK to get out, he bounded off. He then didn't come back to me when I called and, instead of going straight up to the house when told "Home!" he trotted about, sniffing trees and the sidewalk.
I'd had enough.
"Your father,"I yelled, "is coming home tomorrow night and then we'll see about your misbehaviour! Just you wait till Daddy comes home!"
It was one of those moments where, even as you hear yourself say the words, another part of your brain is quietly, rationally explaining to you that you are being totally insane and that - worse still - you're doing it out in public.
But I couldn't stop myself. In that millisecond before I said it, it made perfect sense to me.
When I say that he is my furkid - my substitute child - I guess it's not so much a joke, but a deep-seated reality.
And he knows something is going on because I've been ignoring him for the last four hours that we have been home and he has been very, very quiet, laying on his cushion and not a peep out of him.
My little boy has pushed Mama too damn far, and he bloody well knows it.