Things only the unemployed say to themselves:
"Do I really want that latte enough to actually get dressed and leave the house?"
"Goddammit I've watched everything I recorded on my DVR! What now?"
"Why doesn't the video store have any new movies that I haven't watched already?"
"It's so nice that the coffee shop people know my name and my Usual."
"Wow, I'm really getting good at doing my own mani-pedi."
"Wow. How long has that little crack in the ceiling been there? I've never noticed that before..."
"It's A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush!!! What is WRONG with these people? I could totally go on Wheel of Fortune!"
"GAH! It's 5pm and I still have Bed Hair! ... Hang on, as long as I don't look in the mirror, who cares?"
"Yeah, whatever, Lady. This is my 15th interview in two months. Your benefits are crap and I can tell you don't have any contracts on your books that suit my skills. And these shoes are killing me. Let's just wrap this up so I can get home and get back into my PJs and slippers."
"Who needs a hairbrush? I have a baseball cap!"
"Damn! if I'd known my friend was gonna cover the bill, I'd have ordered hard liquor..."
"If one more person at a networking event tells me that 1000 people respond to a job ad in the first hour it's posted online, I shall bop them in the schnoz."
"I am going to win all 5 of these Lexulous games! I am getting SO good! Yeah!"
"It's only 9am! Shut the hell up out there, neighbors!!!"