- Hold an open house before the renovation is finished and the varnish on the deck is still sticky.
- Put a "Media Room" in the basement which is so narrow it can only fit two small armchairs side by side
- Make interesting spend/no spend decisions in the kitchen: a special water tap next to the stove, but no water/ice dispenser on the fridge; two sinks but no garbage disposal
- Show the house on a sunny day with the windows closed so it's hot. When a prospective buyer asks if the house has air conditioning, tell her "No, but all the windows open!"
- Create an upstairs deck which is off the two kids bedroom rather then the master bedroom
- Create a walk-in closet in the master bedroom that's so small only a nudist's wardrobe would fit in it
- Put interesting art all over the place, like a five foot diameter clock with massive Roman numerals, a strange 6 foot long, 3 foot wide metal arrow. When people visit a house they want to visualize themselves in it, not deal with your taste in art. When a prospective buyer whispers feedback that the art is distracting from the overall house, say "I'm an expert in this," and walk away.
- Put the house, in an area where comparable houses have sold for $500 - $800K less, on the market for over $2 million
WTF?
Yeah, good luck with that.