Hello Mama's friends!
Yesterday was my birthday!!!
Well, not really my actual birthday, because Mama and Dada weren't my first parents, so they don't know exactly when I was born. Neither do I, actually.
It's the anniversary of when I adopted Mama and Dada as my new parents. They decided I was 1 year old when they got me, so now I am TWO!
I'm a BIG BOY.
My birthday didn't start very well. It was cold and rainy outside and Mama and Dada wouldn't get out of bed and I was soooooooooo bored.
But then Mama and Dada started moving the furniture around to make more space and there were big red balloons floating in the air and Mama got out cake.
I like cake.
Then more hairless apes came with other dogs!
There were two pugs, a little terrier, my girlfriend Dogette (of course!), a chocolate lab, a very big dog, and ME!
We ran around the garden chasing balls and the little terrier ran between our legs to get to them first! He was amazing!
We tore up the grass and made half the garden into a mud patch and the chocolate lab rolled around in it! He looked incredible!
We ran in and out of the house making different sized muddy paw prints on the floor! It was wonderful!
Dogette went all dominatrix and tried to hump the big dog. She was stupendous!
Mama gave us all doggy donuts that were different colors like red and blue and yellow and green and each one had sprinkles on top. They were scrumptious!
The hairless apes just stood in the kitchen drinking bubbly stuff and eating cake. They were sooooo boring. Except for the one who threw the ball for us. He was awesome!
I got birthday toys and treats! That was the total BEST!
Mama said I couldn't eat all my treats and put them away in the kitchen cupboard. She is such a buzzkill!
But, never mind her. Let me tell you about my toys!
I got a rubber squirrel all of my own! I can kill it again and again! Soooooo cool!
I got a rubber evil pirate chicken with an eye patch and peg leg that I killed dead dead dead in three minutes! It had all this white stuffing stuff inside and I spread it all over the lounge floor and it was great! I still have the carcass that I can play with, and if Mama pulls on one end and I pull on the other, the rubbery bits stretch. Soooooo cool!
And I got a round rubber thingy with little feet that makes squeaky noises! Mama says it sounds like the bastard child of a fart that mated with an alley cat, but she's just being silly. Dada says that Uncle Bill chose the toy on purpose to drive him and Mama crazy. I don't see why they should be crazy... it's my toy. I can bite it and chew it and, if I drop it on the ground, it bounces, so I can chase it too! Soooooo cool!
Mama and Dada said that, when it's Dogette's birthday, they are going to get her a drum set to get back at Uncle Bill. Mama is so silly! Dogs can't play drums - we don't have opposable thumbs!
Today Mama gave me one of the special balloons that was still bobbing above the dining room table. It was red and shaped like a dog's head. It was an evil red dog! She pulled on the string till it was low enough for me to attack it and I jumped on it and bit and bit and bit it and I killed it dead dead dead!
This was the best birthday EVER.
Lots of licks and woofs,