That's Life - That's what straight friends are for...
Sunday, March 1, 2009 at 5:41PM
Ittybittycrazy in That's Life

 

After my previous post on breaking up a friend's new relationship before it's even begun, I began to muse on how I would do that to my gay friends...

 

 

Picture the scene... there we are at a trendy restaurant, dinner for four, wine opened, hors d'oeuvres in full flight, and I say...

 


  1. So.... tell us about which friends you lost when you came out...

  2. Has he shown you his collection of plaid shirts yet?

  3. Are you going with him on his annual pilgrimage to Palmyra?

  4. His ex told me it was a little difficult at first because of - you know - the banana shape of it, but he said all you have to do is wriggle around a little, and you can get him in eventually...

  5. [Sigh loudly] We used to have such nice dinners with his wife and kids back when he was married...

  6. I was so relieved when he finally accepted his sexuality. I have no idea why he still goes back to that church who tried to (air quotes) "cure" him...

  7. Of course, if you start to stay overnight at his house a lot, he's going to make you get your own Snuggie

  8. How did his dog react when she first met you? [No matter what the reply is, say the following...] Oh dear, that is not good. The last one she did that to only lasted 7 weeks...

  9. He's told you about his oral rule, right? No? It's very simple... he calls it The Cather Rule. Happy to receive, not his job to give...

  10. You know he hasn't changed his house one bit since he moved in six years ago? He hates redecorating!

 

I know, I know... no cliche left unturned...

 

 

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