Hello Friends
I have been a bit sick this week. It was horrible.
I tried to spread the load so that Mama wouldn't have to clean up one big mess of it. I did some in the kitchen, some on my cushion in the lounge, some in the dining room, some on my bed in her bedroom and some on the carpet. Mama had to go onto 1-800-PetMeds to get more pet stain spray, so I have stimulated the economy!
Mama took me to some horrible place where there was a lady with metal things in her eyebrow and in her tongue. Why doesn't she just wear a collar like me? Anyway, she was very nice to me and was stroking me but then she stuck something up my butt! I tried to tell her I don't swing that way but she ignored me. She said something to Mama about "another reading" and did it again! She was a total bitch - and not in a good way!
Then another lady came in and she also seemed nice at first but then she started sticking her fingers into my tummy. It hurt! Then she took me away from Mama and made me stand still in front of some stupid machine that buzzed at me. She also stuck something really sharp into me. Another total bitch - and not in a good way!
She put me in a crate and then it got a lot better. I got to watch a cat being cut open! It was great! Cats are totally evil! I was happy to see at least one of them get what they deserve.
Mama came to pick me up and I was so happy to be going home. First she talked to a lady behind the counter. When we left she mumbled something about how many pairs of shoes she could have bought with that $500 but I didn't know what she was talking about. She has lots and lots of shoes - why does she have to buy more?
So we went home and I just didn't feel like eating. I was very tired and slept a lot. Last night I decided maybe I could eat a little bit when Mama made toast with peanut butter. I looooove toooooast. Mama calls it Doggie Dope. She says the only thing better than toast with peanut butter is cooked chicken, which she calls Doggie Crack. I don't know why she calls them those silly names. I just know I like them!
Mama took me out for a very short walk today which was a bit sucky because I love to be out and sniff things and pee on other things. If I pee on something, it's mine. That's how it works. I own a lot of territory around my house.
I still feel a bit tired but I ate my dinner tonight and I do feel better. I got my ball today and brought it to Mama to throw for me and she said that's a sign that I am making a full recovery. She didn't throw it for me though. Sometimes Mama is like those other women, a bit of a bitch - and not in a good way.