Thank. You. For. Calling. Company X.

Please. Tell. Me. Who. You. Would. Like. To. Speak. To.

"Bob Smith."

I. Think. You. Said. One. Of. These. Seven. People.

One. Mike Kawazaki.

Two. Sheila Monroe.

Three. Hiyochi Namura.

Four. Tom Dole.

Five. [Mumble mumble].

Six. Chloe Ellis-Brown.

Seven. Vijay Chopra.

If. The. Person. Was. Not. Listed. Say. None.

"None."

I'm. Sorry. Please. Tell. Me. The. Name. Again.

"Bob Smith."

I. Think. You. Mean. One. Of. These. Fifty. Two. People.

One. Mariana DeVille.

Two. Chuck Bartels.

"None! None! None!"

I'm. Sorry. Let's. Try. That. Again. Please. Te-

"Operator! OPERATOR!"

I. Think. You. Want. The. Operator. Is. That. Right.

"YES!"

Transferring. You. To. The. Operator.

"Hello, this is the Operator, who would you like to speak to?"

"Bob Smith, please."

"And how do you spell 'Smith'?"

And this is when I send Bob an email.