Spoiler alert! You may not want to read this if you haven't seen Twilight New Moon yet, and you are planning to. If you're not planning to pay $12 to sit though this movie, good for you. It's not really worth it. But that's a conversation for another time...
I went to see "Twilight - New Moon" with an open mind. I hadn't read the book and I was ready for a fun night out in an over 21 cinema where we could get past the teenage sappiness with copious amounts of alcohol.
As expected, we got the sexual tension, the action, the special effects and lots of male six packs.
What I was surprised by, though, was the sexism.
And the gender bias wasn't just aimed at women - young boys got what I consider to be negative messages too.
Male Sexism - you have to be a superhero to get the girl
Young men watching Twilight - assuming they'll bother to go see it in the first place (unless, of course, they're dragged there by a girl) - are basically shown that, to get the girl, you have to be superhero.
We already know about Edwards' abilities and, even though the moment his shirt comes off is disappointing compared to the various gratuitous shots of Jacob's chest, he's still pretty lean and muscular.
Even the previously sweet boy next door character, Jacob, has morphed into a bepecced, be-sixpacked Adonis who, when he cuts his hair, deserves to grace the cover of Mens Health magazine.
He's also a killer mechanic, able to fix up a junkyard motorcycle shell into a mean machine.
And, as those annoying commercials say on TV, that's not all!
Jacob comes of age, and starts to morph into a super-strong, massive, fur-ruffled-by-the-breeze werewolf.
So poor Mike, the only normal male who might be a potential love interest, really doesn't stand a chance. Not only does his hair have a reddish tinge - the greatest crime in the looks department that your genes can commit against you - he is simply nice looking.
When Mike takes Bella to an action movie, not only is he immediately overshadowed by Jacob and his neck-of-steel, but his disgust at the violent content, leading him to throw up, is cruelly portrayed as weakness.
A normal, sensitive boy is a total loser in the Twilight world. The fact that he thinks he might have a chance with Bella is borderline laughable.
Boys - if you can't have a magic power, you better at least have a six pack.
Female sexism - Woman as victim
The character of Bella is the the eternal victim. She is constantly in need of rescue, sometimes due to her own ridiculous stupidity.
I mean, for God's sake, any girl who can't open a small square package wrapped with a bow in a room full of vampires without cutting her finger open is a fucking moron.
Only when she has to save Edward's life does Bella take any action in this film. And her action consists of running through a crowd to hug Edward and show she's alive. Not exactly Xena Warrior Princess or Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Apart from pushing people out of her way and sprinting through a fountain, Bella's passivity is epic.
When Edward tells her his family is leaving, she automatically assumes she is going with him. She seems to have absolutely nothing in her life that's important to her except this man. No sport, no hobbies, no thoughts of a a possible career. She would leave her father, her friends, her home at the drop of a hat for a guy she's know for a year and thinks she is in love with.
And please don't tell me it's true love. You don't know shit about love at that age.
When Edward actually does leave, Bella is borderline comatose. She is shown sitting in an armchair, staring out at the rain, for months. The only time we see her doing any homework in this movie, she is in front of the TV, and not really paying attention to her books. She seems to have absolutely no ambition at all.
She hangs out with guys she doesn't really love, expecting them to just be there for her, despite her not giving them anything in return. When I was young, boys called girls like that Prickteasers, and they were hated and teased for it.
When she finally comes out of her funk and buys two motorbike wrecks from the junkyard, she takes them to Jacob to fix up because she wants to put herself into a dangerous situation and, through putting herself in harm's way, see visions of Edward.
She goes straight from one man to a boy, using him to get to her man. Her entire life is defined by a male, her support system is the next male.
Throughout the weeks the bikes are rebuilt, she doesn't once help Jacob except to hand him a tool or get the pizza from the delivery man. Just sit there and look melancholy and pretty, girls, and, if push comes to shove, make sure your man has food.
When the bikes are done up, she crashes hers immediately. She just pretty fucking useless at anything apart from pouting and, for no reason at all (the actress isn't done up to look particularly attractive) inexplicably bewitching the males around her.
Her selfishness and self-absorption borders on utter narcissism, to the point where her father wants to send her away to live with her mother - who can blame him? Pouty teenagers are pain in the ass at the best of times but her lower lip is drooping so far she risks hurting herself tripping on it.
She isn't even a good friend. When she finally reconnects with a girlfriend and goes out with her, she sees some bozo on a motorbike on a side street and, again wanting to place herself in danger, gets on the back of his bike for a joyride. Even when I was in High School, any friend who did that to me would immediately be an ex-friend.
As women, I am sure we all know the kind of female friend who is only around after a breakup and then disappears as soon as the next boyfriend comes along. They're pathetic and a waste of your time and effort.
The character of Bella is passive, pouting, and constantly in need of rescue.
The theme of female victimhood is is reinforced by the character of the fiance of one of the werewolves, half her face disfigured when he "lost control" yet still by his side, kissing him and providing food for the were-boys when they drop in to visit.
As the movie progressed, I sympathized less and less with the central character of Bella, and came to believe that everyone - human or not - would be better of if she just bloody well drowned when she stupidly jumped off that cliff.
The character as portrayed in this film is a terrible role model for young women.
I couldn't help but contrast the main characters in the Twilight movie series with their counterparts in the Harry Potter one.
In spite of magic powers, Harry and Ron are pretty normal boys, and Hermione is a girl who tries to get ahead in the world and become her own person.
Also, teenage kids are shown actually kissing and getting it on in the background in the last Harry Potter movie, whereas Twilight is filled with short kisses and Bella's frustrated moans... annoying, and not what real teenagers these days are doing.
So talk to your teenage girls about contraception and let them watch Hermione excel in Harry Potter, because the victimhood of Twilight and the abstinence approach just aren't healthy.