These post-its are not real.They are just in my head. I love my husband. Seriously.
Dear Fluffy Bear
My birthday is coming up.
You are a man.
Man = boy + geek.
Buying you a birthday present is pretty easy. It needs to be a toy, and it needs to be electronic. End of story.
As you know, I am a woman.
Woman = girl + sex bomb + mother + cleaner + philosopher + culture vulture + friend + confidant + fashionista + chef + karaoke queen + stand-up comedian + secretary + project manager + politician + taxi driver + yoga junkie + make up artist + skincare consultant + hairdresser + interior designer + real estate agent + OK let's just leave it here or I'll be here all night.
So here are a few pointers to help you choose my birthday present:
- Anything that can be used in the house by both of us --> Not a valid birthday present
- Anything that needs a charger, or you to "install" it --> Not a valid birthday present
- Anything that is considered "useful" --> Not a valid birthday present
- Anything that is involves us going to a nice store and you taking out your credit card --> You're getting warmer
- Anything that turns out to be EXACTLY what I dropped major hints about while watching TV --> You're pretty safe
- Anything small and shiny, that comes in a nice box --> Now you're talking
To read more in the Post-its of Wrath series, click here.