Dear Hotel Manager
Charging us $51 for a mediocre breakfast for two, that didn't even include any alcohol, is why y'all ain't got no business no more.
And another thing...
If I'd known I was going to have a hand in my pocket through my stay in this hotel, I'd have walked around wearing just my bathing suit, wriggling occassionally, so that at least I could've enjoyed it a little.
I'm jus' sayin'.